Diamond Dave’s Faves

A Beer for Every Palate

There isn’t one beer that I can single out as my favorite beer. Like wine, different beers fill different niches of my palate. Factors, such as what I am eating, the setting, day versus night, indoor versus outdoors, and warm weather versus cold weather, need to be taken into consideration when selecting the right beer. As a result, I have summarized my favorite beers for a number of different scenarios below:

For a warm, sunny day at the beach? Tecate

On a cold winter night? Guinness

A crisp sunny day? Fat Tire

firestone.gif During poker night with the bros? Firestone Double Barrel Ale

With sushi? Kirin Ichiban

When we’re hosting a BBQ? Coors

If you’re throwing a “kegger”? Sierra Nevada Pale Ale

sam%20smith.jpg When I’m feeling adventurous? Samuel Smith’s Organic Lager

chimay_rouge.jpg When I’m trying to impress a lady? Chimay

Trying to relive my youth? Lucky Lagerlucky%20lager.jpg

Before a hip-hop show? Mickey’s 40oz.

And Now: Dave’s Tongue-in-Cheek Rave

My favorite beer is Heineken.

Nothing captures the taste of morning breath, or skunk butt better than the Heiny. I will always enjoy the acid reflux that immediately ensues after the first swig. I have been meaning to ask the brewers if they use the juice of a Duracell or Energizer in the brewing process. Nothing makes a morning more enjoyable than a 12-pack of Heiny from the night before.

A heat wave in the desert cannot induce the extreme dehydration one feels as he/her opens his/her mouth for the first time in the morning. Nor can a blow to the head with a blunt object recreate the throbbing cranial sensation of a Heineken hangover. So next time you’re at a bar or a quickie mart and are not sure which bottle of brew is going to suite you, go for a Heineken. You’ll regret it!

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