A Beer for Every Palate
There isn’t one beer that I can single out as my favorite beer. Like wine, different beers fill different niches of my palate. Factors, such as what I am eating, the setting, day versus night, indoor versus outdoors, and warm weather versus cold weather, need to be taken into consideration when selecting the right beer. As a result, I have summarized my favorite beers for a number of different scenarios below:
For a warm, sunny day at the beach? Tecate
On a cold winter night? Guinness
A crisp sunny day? Fat Tire
During poker night with the bros? Firestone Double Barrel Ale
With sushi? Kirin Ichiban
When we’re hosting a BBQ? Coors
If you’re throwing a “kegger”? Sierra Nevada Pale Ale
When I’m feeling adventurous? Samuel Smith’s Organic Lager
When I’m trying to impress a lady? Chimay
Trying to relive my youth? Lucky Lager
Before a hip-hop show? Mickey’s 40oz.
And Now: Dave’s Tongue-in-Cheek Rave
My favorite beer is Heineken.
Nothing captures the taste of morning breath, or skunk butt better than the Heiny. I will always enjoy the acid reflux that immediately ensues after the first swig. I have been meaning to ask the brewers if they use the juice of a Duracell or Energizer in the brewing process. Nothing makes a morning more enjoyable than a 12-pack of Heiny from the night before.
A heat wave in the desert cannot induce the extreme dehydration one feels as he/her opens his/her mouth for the first time in the morning. Nor can a blow to the head with a blunt object recreate the throbbing cranial sensation of a Heineken hangover. So next time you’re at a bar or a quickie mart and are not sure which bottle of brew is going to suite you, go for a Heineken. You’ll regret it!