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    What Not to Wear


    Thursday, July 24, 2008
    By Penny Patterson (Contact)
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    A few weeks ago, my girlfriend, Jackie, and I met for dinner at a friend’s house after a busy weekend apart. I had been all over the place, doing volunteer work and then meeting up with my family for most of the weekend, while Jackie was visiting her folks after her dad came back from vacation. As usual, I was running late and my entrance to dinner was rushed.

    It took me a few minutes to realize that Jackie and I were wearing the same thing: black T-shirt, blue jeans, black Converse.

    Gay Girl / Straight World

    “Twinsies!” my friend proclaimed as we made our way through the kitchen.

    “Oh boy,” I thought. “We’ve become that couple.”

    More than once have I gotten ready for an event that Jackie and I are both going to and we’ll either discuss beforehand what we’re going to wear for fear of the twinsie syndrome or we’ll regroup in the living room only to realize that someone’s got to change because we look like the lesbian version of SNL’s Ambiguously Gay Duo.

    Granted, black shirts and blue jeans are pretty normal fare for a Sunday. But what compels us to decide individually to wear a Rise Against shirt on some random Wednesday? And what about the afternoon when Jackie picked me up from work wearing a red shirt and blue jeans on the same day I had on that outfit? It’s like Twin Day in elementary school. But not planned. And when I’m 25 years old. And on a weekly basis.

    I know this happens with lots of other people. A coworker told me about showing up for an interview with a heterosexual couple, who came to the meeting from separate workplaces, and they were both in red sweatshirts, blue jeans, and running shoes. Or there’s my friend who, whenever asked what her “type” is, explains that she likes girls who dress similarly to her feminine style. But nothing can top the other night, when my good friend, who had informed me that the guy he’s been seeing looks quite a bit like him, showed up on the dance floor with his carbon copy. Same clothes, same hair, same mannerisms. It was like the real-life version of “Dancing with Myself.”

    The idea isn’t all that surprising, though, if you think about it. Humans are usually attracted to like-minded people—Lakers fans hang out with other Lakers fans, Tegan and Sara aficionados go to shows together, avid readers join book clubs. And while I certainly don’t want to date myself (I am, after all, demanding, borderline OCD, and overly talkative), I do want to date someone who shares some of my interests, which means Jackie and I, at some point, are bound to sport the same band shirt on the same day.

    One of my friends at work commiserates with me about this often. He and his boyfriend have always had similar style, but since they’ve been dating (and especially since they’ve moved in together), their clothing and outfit choices have grown more and more alike. I think the same can be said of Jackie and me; when we first started dating, she was much more punk and I was way more into vintage. But we’ve each moved more to the center, meaning fewer wristbands and studded belts for Jackie and fewer velour numbers for me. The funny twist to this, though, is that my work friend and I often show up to the office in boy and girl versions of the same outfit. He’ll be in gray pants and a sweater vest; I’ll be in a gray skirt and a sweater vest. I usually won’t notice the matchy-matchy factor, tell him that I love his outfit, and then realize I’m wearing the same thing. It’s like I’m telling myself how good I look. And that’s just awkward.

    All this leaves me wondering if those lesbians from San Francisco in matching Subarus and Birkenstocks started out like Jackie and me—wearing black tees and jeans the same day—and then somehow morphed into an indistinguishable couple with short hair and checkered flannel shirts. For now I’ll just say that dressing similarly to Jackie isn’t posing a problem. That is, until she busts out a flannel.

    Penny Patterson writes an online column about gay life in Santa Barbara called Gay Girl/Straight World. See independent.com/gaygirl for more.

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    Oh my gosh - too funny - too true. My husband & I have been married for 31 years and we recently got dressed for work and found ourselves wearing the same outfit. Now my husband thinks it's fun! argh.

    iwobin (anonymous profile)
    July 30, 2008 at 10:33 a.m. (Suggest removal)

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