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    Paul Wellman

    Wheeler is struggling with the loss of his wife first to Alzheimer’s and then to a nursing home.


    Public Grieving, Private Loss

    James Wheeler Reflects on His Life, His Wife, and His Upcoming Court Date


    Tuesday, October 7, 2008
    By Isabelle T. Walker
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    James Wheeler doesn’t fit the profile of a would-be murderer. Sitting in his daughter’s dining room, sharing the events of his storybook marriage, he also doesn’t fit the profile as a political activist. But ever since September 17 when he threaded a hose from the tailpipe of his idling Oldsmobile through the window of a room where his dementia-ravaged wife, Becky, lay sleeping and then prepared to join her there, they are the roles he finds himself playing.

    A more recent photo of the Wheelers
    Click to enlarge photo

    Courtesy

    A more recent photo of the Wheelers

    Fate intervened that day when a neighbor noticed the hose linking Wheeler’s exhaust pipe to his Carpinteria home and called for help. When Sheriff's deputies arrived, Wheeler told them to go away as he and Becky were in the process of dying. Deputies responded by placing him in handcuffs and taking him first to Cottage Hospital and then to the County Jail. Becky Wheeler was admitted to Cottage and subsequently placed in a six-bed nursing home.

    Now out on bail, the retired petroleum engineer is facing charges of attempted murder and elder abuse and the possibility of spending the rest of his life in prison.

    Terry Scrivner shows the many sympathy card from friends and neighbors
    Click to enlarge photo

    Paul Wellman

    Terry Scrivner shows the many sympathy card from friends and neighbors

    Sympathy for Wheeler and calls for leniency have materialized in letters to editors and comments posted on news Web sites — including independent.com. Wheeler’s defense attorney, Steve Balash, has received at least two offers of pro-bono assistance from other law firms. Friends and neighbors — including members of Wheeler’s bridge club and some of the couples he and Becky played weekly volleyball with for 50 years — made a show of support at his recent bail hearing.

    The situation is nothing if not ambiguous. Becky has Alzheimer’s disease. As people with this condition gradually lose cognitive function and memory, their loved one must stand idly by as lifetimes of shared memories disappear into thin air. Four and a half million Americans have Alzheimer’s today, about 5 percent of men and women between 65 and 74 and half of people 85 and older. Once it’s diagnosed, a person can live between eight and 10 years, a period that demands much from family members.

    Terry Scrivner brought out photos of the couple.
    Click to enlarge photo

    Paul Wellman

    Terry Scrivner brought out photos of the couple.

    Wheeler said Becky began showing signs of dementia five years ago, but it wasn’t until 2006 that she stopped being able to find things in stores and became confused paying for items with cash. The couple would have dinner every other night at the house of their daughter and son-in-law, Terry and Stan Scrivner, who live a block up from their Third Street home. According to Terry, her mother ceased knowing what to do with different foods, would put a fork in a roll, for example, and forget what she had just eaten. She seemed to look to her husband for help with the smallest decisions, Terry said.

    Very recently, Becky stopped recognizing individual family members —including her own husband. Wheeler admitted this was an upsetting development. If not for the additional shock it would cause the family, he said he would consider taking his own life again.

    Becky and James Wheeler the year they were married, just before James flew to Europe to fight in the war.
    Click to enlarge photo

    Courtesy

    Becky and James Wheeler the year they were married, just before James flew to Europe to fight in the war.

    “I’m 84 years old, dear, and I’ve had a wonderful life,” Wheeler said. “And I know Becky was ready to go.” Though Wheeler claims to not be depressed, tears surface easily and copiously when the subject turns to Becky. Looking at an early photograph of the two, this reporter made a remark about the apparent regard for each other. It elicited weeping.

    “That’s putting it mildly,” Wheeler said.

    Initially, Wheeler was being held without bail. But at a September 24 hearing, Judge George Eskin lifted that order and released Wheeler on $100,000 plus conditions, including that he receive grief counseling, surrender his driver’s license, and be heavily supervised by family. He said the case called for compassion. But Balash said that by insisting on an unusually precipitous preliminary hearing — scheduled for this Wednesday — the District Attorney was rushing the case, perhaps to move it do a different, less sympathetic department. “How can you make an example of someone who is 85 years old?” Balash posited. “It’d be different if he was trying to kill his wife to get rid of her, but that’s not what was happening. He did not want her to be alone. He wanted to die with her.”

    In person, Wheeler is convivial and open, even allowing the occasional laugh. He has continued to attend his bridge club meetings, but complains his game has slipped.

    The couple met in the early 1940s at Santa Monica Beach, when Wheeler’s political science teacher agreed to hold the final class of the semester there. Becky attended with her roommate and rode back to campus with Wheeler in his Model A Ford station wagon, painted blue and gold. “I think that’s what got her,” he said. They were married in 1944, just before Wheeler went overseas to fight in the war, where he earned two purple hearts.

    After a failed murder-suicide attempt last month, Wheeler is living with his daughter Terry Scrivner (right) and son-in-law Stan Scriver (not pictured).
    Click to enlarge photo

    Paul Wellman

    After a failed murder-suicide attempt last month, Wheeler is living with his daughter Terry Scrivner (right) and son-in-law Stan Scriver (not pictured).

    Wheeler was Becky’s caretaker, with support from the Scrivners. He never wanted to put her in a home and insists she was never a burden. Every day, after he got her breakfast and gave her medicine to her, they would take a walk down to the beach. Once a week, he would drive her to Solvang or to Ojai for breakfast. Sometimes Becky became uneasy in the unfamiliar surroundings and they would return home, stopping for food at In-N-Out.

    “She could be a little stubborn,” Terry offered tentatively. “She didn’t like riding in my car, but she’d ride in [my father’s] car. They’re both Oldsmobiles, two years apart.” She and Stan hope the court will let Wheeler continue living with them.

    Wheeler has not seen Becky since, as he puts it, “the crucial night.” Although legally he could visit her in the company of his daughter, Terry doesn’t believe the time is right. And Wheeler says he isn’t anxious to see her. She wouldn’t recognize him anyway, he said, and it would be difficult for her. He acknowledges being angry at the legal proceedings his actions have precipitated, but also says he’s surrendered to it.

    “Yes, yes I am [angry],” he said. “But there’s no point in doing anything about it. You know. What can I do? “

    Related Links

    • Link to the intial report on independent.com
    Story Help (Click-ability)
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    Comments

    Discussion Guidelines

    If I ever got to the point where I didn't recognize my own family, I would hope my husband would do the same for me.

    Readers say: Thumbs Up: 3 of 3 • Thumbs Down: 0 of 3

    faerydragon (anonymous profile)
    October 7, 2008 at 12:55 a.m. (Suggest removal)

    The district attorney should have mercy on this poor man. He's suffered enough, already! To require him to serve time would be a disservice to the taxpayers.

    Readers say: Thumbs Up: 2 of 2 • Thumbs Down: 0 of 2

    buckwheat (anonymous profile)
    October 7, 2008 at 8:31 a.m. (Suggest removal)

    Bless his heart, it is terrible that the DA's office has nothing more pressing to work (like non-existent gang problems) then this case. This family has been through enough with this disease.

    Readers say: Thumbs Up: 3 of 3 • Thumbs Down: 0 of 3

    sbcalnative (anonymous profile)
    October 7, 2008 at 9:19 a.m. (Suggest removal)

    The prosecutor pushing this case is the same one that handled the Frimpong case: Mary Barron.

    Count on her to use the same bad judgment and questionable tactics this time. This man needs some sort of compassionate treatment, not the threat of jail for the rest of his life. Is Barron the only person who doesn't see that? What's wrong with the DA's office?

    Readers say: Thumbs Up: 2 of 3 • Thumbs Down: 1 of 3

    zorro (anonymous profile)
    October 7, 2008 at 11:30 a.m. (Suggest removal)

    Who's said the D.A. is asking for jail time? The purpose of a preliminary hearing is just to see if the case is justified to go forward. I am willing to hold off on any criticism until the case is done. Letting him walk away without any supervision might not be the smartest thing that the system could do. I am willing to see what happens before lambasting the D.A. office.

    Readers say: Thumbs Up: 0 of 1 • Thumbs Down: 1 of 1

    ThoughtfulBlogger (anonymous profile)
    October 7, 2008 at 11:44 p.m. (Suggest removal)

    How very sad. Unfortunately there is no right answer or solution. My mothers maiden name was Wheeler and my grandmother became ill with Alzheimer's and deteriorated in a matter of months. She was no longer the person she was, just the body existing.
    I wonder what the solution to this would be many years from now ? Will there ever be one? Hopefully the family can find some peace.
    At least they can be assured that their situation has brought to light a problem that clearly needs to be looked at and addressed. Hopefully it will bring us as a society, to look for solutions out of knowing what to do rather than leaving family members to do things out of shear desperation, just to stop the pain and suffering of loved ones.
    I hope for the best outcome of a very difficult situation.

    Readers say: Thumbs Up: 1 of 1 • Thumbs Down: 0 of 1

    JenniferinSB (anonymous profile)
    October 8, 2008 at 12:35 a.m. (Suggest removal)

    I am personally all for the "ice flow".
    Why is it not Ok for each human to decide for themselves when it is time to leave?
    But I guess it is Ok to seperate a loving couple for the rest of their days. To "warehouse" his wife and imprison him.
    To what purpose?
    Who does it serve to add to this couples tragic suffering?
    America is becoming a Nation who dismisses the elderly by warehousing them and then extending their lives,lives that have no quality of existence, and then acting as if this is what they want.
    It is worst kind of genocide.
    Lets lock up our mothers and fathers and "pill" them to death.
    James Wheeler was driven to this because of a crap system that does not work.
    I wish peace for he and his wife.
    Peace.

    Readers say: Thumbs Up: 1 of 1 • Thumbs Down: 0 of 1

    emenzies (Elizabeth Menzies)
    October 8, 2008 at 9:35 a.m. (Suggest removal)

    Wow! Journalism! Great piece.

    We can only hope that the closeness of this community will allow for a compassionate solution to an untenable situation.

    Heartbreaking.

    Readers say: Thumbs Up: 0 of 0 • Thumbs Down: 0 of 0

    david3 (anonymous profile)
    October 8, 2008 at 10:10 a.m. (Suggest removal)

    this is so heart-wrenching, I see Alzheimer's patient's on a regular basis. it is so heart-breaking to see the spouse watch in agony as the person s/he has spent the last half-century with not recognize them. I sympathize with the Wheeler family. I think that the judge and prosecutor need to have some mercy on a man who wanted to end his wife's suffering. It wont do anyone any good to put this 84 year-old man in jail!

    Readers say: Thumbs Up: 1 of 1 • Thumbs Down: 0 of 1

    MedicJ (anonymous profile)
    October 8, 2008 at 12:24 p.m. (Suggest removal)

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