All Kinds of Bald

Dear Ask a Stylist, Why do so many men shave their heads? —Richard

Dear Richard,

To shave, or not to shave: That is the question!

There are a few reasons a man might shave his head. The number one reason is because he is going bald. Men have also shaved to show support for loved ones going through chemo or to signify unity within a group or team.

Beyond that, I think there’s an ulterior motive at hand. Perhaps the guy is on a journey to transform his look. What look is he going for? Let’s categorize a few bald heads to help us try and understand.

Category One: Fictional bald guys. Homer Simpson. Uncle Fester. Dr. Evil. It’s safe to say that most men would not want to fall into Category One. Fictional bald men may be funny, menacing, or evil. Apparently though, most aren’t taken very seriously. For that reason, I think most men do not shave their head in hopes of fitting into Category One.

Category Two: Sexy bald guys. Sean Connery (1989 People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive). Patrick Stewart (1992 People magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive). Michael Jordan. Daughtry. Most men would happily fall into this category if given the option. To be sexy and not have to worry about having a bad hair day — who would argue with that?

Category Three: Bald guys who could kick your @$$! Ving Rhames. Vin Diesel. Bruce Willis. I’ve known a couple of “tough guys” in my day who shaved their heads hoping (although not admitting) to fit into this category. The look can be intimidating, especially when coupled with some menacing facial hair.

Category Four: Women who wish they were in Category Three. Britney Spears, Demi Moore, Sinead O’Connor, Sigourney Weaver. Enough said.

Category Five: Guys whose heads I’d like to personally shave. Donald Trump. Phil Spector. Dog the Bounty Hunter. I’m officially offering my professional services, free of charge, to shave the head any of the men I’ve listed in Category Five. No matter what your head looks like bald, it will be an improvement over what you currently have.

Ultimately, a man just won’t know what he’ll look like until he shaves his head. If you’re daring, go for it! It will grow back! Remember, no matter what you look like, you’ll always have someone “Who loves you, baby!”