Hollywood Ending

Matt Kettman’s “Taking Sides in Otter Showdown” gave me a concise, informative lowdown on the current otter debate. We all agree we hate the fake line in the sea but we cannot agree whether or not the otters should roam free.

They are the heaviest members of the weasel family but they aren’t trying to scam you and me. We already decimated their population when we were an otter fur-desiring nation. Now we are battling them for fine food. We don’t want them to starve or think we’re rude but this recession has already beat us down and any further threat could really be distressing. So are we at an impasse or will we think outside the box?

I wish there were someone sly as a fox who could distract the otters each day by taking them to one spot to feed and play. It would be sort of like preschool, except with otters, which is even more cool. While they were distracted, the fishermen could sail in and get their catch without committing a sin. Everyone would roam the ocean happily and free and share nature’s (somewhat?) plentiful bounty. Okay, so that’s more like the made-for-Hollywood ending, but sometimes a crazy thought contains a message worth sending.

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