Kill Phil E. Buster

It is time to assassinate the 101st United States senator. He corrupts the Constitution, destroys democracy, and is the American antichrist. He used to stand and talk, but now sits and snubs, controlling any legislation at will, defeating on a whim the constitutionally mandated simple-majority vote. His name is Phil E. Buster.

There are those sitting at the table in the halls of government, as Arthur with his knights at the round table, who want to create a city of shining light, tranquil serenity, abundant produce, welcome memories, secure streets, amicable neighbors, and a spirited society. Then there are those more interested in their own interests than the nation’s.

We elect our two senators because we trust them to defend our values and promote our best interests. Yet, they allow themselves to be dominated not by a weary, long-standing, telephone-book-reading, filibustering senator, but by a simple notice that taxes no corporeal being. Those whom we send to our national sanctum, instead of being stalwarts of civil rights, suffer themselves to be denigrated to boot-lickers, slaves to a tradition also known in other democracies; whimpering before their mocking, whatever-we-can-get-away-with masters in the minority; and having to pass legislation by labyrinthine contortions rather than a simple majority.

The principle of unlimited debate has been transmogrified into unlimited obstruction. We are betrayed, abandoned, and isolated. Those whom we send to exercise our will allow themselves to be exorcised. We ask, nay, demand, that our champions draw forth their legislative Excalibur and slay this pernicious tyrant.

To submit a comment on this article, email or visit our Facebook page. To submit information to a reporter, email

Be succinct, constructive, and relevant to the story. Leaving a comment means you agree to our Discussion Guidelines. We like civilized discourse. We don't like spam, lying, profanity, harassment or personal attacks.

comments powered by Disqus
event calendar sponsored by:

Carousel House Now for Rent

The iconic octagon is available for parties and classes.

‘Fess Parker’ Name Dropped from Santa Barbara Waterfront Hotel

Change to Hilton Santa Barbara said to help the hotel reach a broader demographic.

Nicholas Kristof Hashes Out How To Help

The Pulitzer Prize-winning author joined local nonprofits to talk global development.

Pile Burn Season Raises Alarms

Uptick in citizen emergency calls upon viewing smoke and fire.

Jon Peterson Departs Habitat for Humanity

Takes a post with Covenant Trust Company of Chicago.