Blundering Budgets

A rhyming rendition of the saga surrounding the now probably defunct proposal to instate parking fees at Santa Barbara County beaches.

Recently, one fine beach town,

Caused its residents to frown,

By pondering charging a fee

For parking close to its beauty.

The frowning folks lined up to speak

At meetings held throughout the week.

“That’s public land! You can’t charge us!”

They said en masse, making a fuss.

On Facebook, the opposition grew stronger.

Thousands surveyed said they would go no longer

If parking became a new costly burden,

i.e. more than the cost of a pen.

With their opinions voiced loudly,

And their force displayed proudly,

Their desires could not be denied.

And so, the fine leaders complied.

“The people don’t want it. It just isn’t cool.”

“I’m here to serve them. That’s my golden rule.”

“The adverse impacts are much too high.

To this proposal I say bye-bye.”

“If the tax on oil and hotels can just sit,

And enjoy a much undeserved respite,

Then the locals should throw a fit,

If we tax them one more teensy bit.”

The townsfolk cheered, yelling, “Thank you!

It’s nice that you care what we want, too!”

Smiles spread swiftly through the town,

Covering up nearly every frown.

Then the eternal cynics commented online,

Because getting the last word leaves them feeling fine,

“The new Marriott should produce the same dough.”

“Whose dumb idea was this anyway, yo?”

Then everyone went back to wondering

About how their own budgets were blundering,

Wishing they could squeeze blood from a turnip,

While keeping their own cash within a firm grip.

I inspired by news and comments found here.

To submit a comment on this article, email or visit our Facebook page. To submit information to a reporter, email

Be succinct, constructive, and relevant to the story. Leaving a comment means you agree to our Discussion Guidelines. We like civilized discourse. We don't like spam, lying, profanity, harassment or personal attacks.

comments powered by Disqus
event calendar sponsored by:

Family Sues Santa Barbara County Sheriff’s Office For Wrongful Death

Five deputies shot Bryan Carreño 20 times.

County Race for Auditor-Controller Turns Ugly

An unexpected bloodbath erupts between Jen Christensen and Betsy Schaffer.

Gun Restraining Order Used 20 Times in Santa Barbara County

Only Los Angeles County used the order more frequently.

Four Westside Candidates Vie for City Council Seat

The election for a District 3 representative will be held on June 5.

City Extends Permit Fast-Track Program

Storefront vacancies have dropped 2 percent since program launched in August.