No Exit

Imagine that helpless feeling at 30,000 feet as you are unpleasantly held captive to the airplane cell phone yapper? Help me, Rhonda. I am now stuck in a seat never made for a person my size or height; I have excellent hearing, and unnecessary human noise offends me. Most people carry on dull, meaningless yammering palaver just to be connected, in my humble non-cell-phone-user opinion. And now in flight I am a quarter of an inch from the yapper. This is really a detestable proposal. Nothing, nothing is that important. Okay, okay, if the plane is going down, I give you that …

Please save me from the cell phone users of any stripe on the airplane. Profits for the airplanes and the wireless companies are the only reasons for this vast intrusion. Imagine a costly cell-free area? Not. Remember how well the smoking sections worked? Write by December 12 (or call on your cell phone while grounded) to the FCC or to your airlines or to your mother and have them all stand their “ground” on no cell phone talking at any altitude above sea level.

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