Build an ark of sufficient cubits to hold 15,000 inebriates. Provide “special” seating near the bilge for out-of-town visitors. Tow to the center of the channel, and pull plug on hull. Raise ark the following day, and return to Isla Vista. Advertise for another load on social media and between beer advertisements on TV.

To plagiarize the old joke: What are 15,000 Deltopians at the bottom of the sea? Answer: A good start.

Let’s start building the ark.

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