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Onioning the Donald


Organizers of this coming July’s 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland have been scrambling to insure that will be sufficient seating available, not for the 2,472 delegates who will be attending but rather for the many different Donald Trumps who might possibly show up in the convention hall.

“Considering his ever-changing views on issues, his multiple personalities and his frequent mood changes, we anticipate needing as many as 50 additional chairs (or thrones as Mr. Trump insists) to place on the stage to accommodate all of the dispositions and temperaments that may emerge during the four days of the convention,” a spokesman said, asking that her name be withheld out of fear of name calling and a possible lawsuit. “What may happen this coming July is totally unpredictable. It’s going to be crazy!”

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