CATS IN THE HATS: Last week’s column drew flak from the Trumpsters, so I thought I’d go pro-Trump this week.
Give Trump a break. How would you feel if on your second day on a job you found out that more than a million people hated you and everything you want to do?
And your only international friend is a communist dictator in Russia. During the first Cold War, the U.S. threw communist sympathizers in prison. Now Czar Vladimir Putin is Trump’s sweetheart and may have even given him campaign rubles.
On Saturday Night Live, the bare-chested Putin actor Beck Bennett bragged at helping Trump win the presidency. “It’s the most expensive thing we’ve ever bought.”
You can’t say the new president isn’t clever. He covers up fast. He first blamed the U.S. intelligence community for exposing his golden shower coziness with the Kremlin. But when he visited the CIA on his second day on the job, facing some of the same people, he blamed (who else?) the news media for blowing the whistle on the Russian shadow election campaign. Not true, but these days, who cares?
You want truth? Watch the Super Bowl. You want facts from the White House? Borrow its copy of the Sporting News.
So now whenever Trump makes a goof, he can blame the reporters. Except for Fox GOP News, of course. While the other channels were showing scenes of the Women’s March, you saw darn fewer of those pink “pussy hats” on Fox.
So what if a million people marched to protest Trump’s agenda and called for a more caring society? What good will that do? Look at poor President Lyndon Johnson. I remember protesters chanting during the Vietnam War, “Hey, hey, LBJ, how many kids did you kill today?”
Was LBJ supposed to be over there counting or something? Of course not. He had a war to lose. LBJ did a lot of good things, but he could count marching feet and decided to opt out of seeking reelection.
Another well-deserved post-election prize for the Trumps: Their kids are bowling at the White House. Shortly after the inauguration, Donald Trump Jr. posted a video of his wife, Vanessa, and their children bowling in lanes installed in the basement by President Richard Nixon in 1969 before he had to quit for subverting democracy. Will Putin bowl with President Trump when he visits and sleeps in the Lincoln Bedroom?
Will he have to insert a quarter to play?
With Saturday Night Live getting hits from Trump on Twitter, I watched reruns on Hulu. I wonder if he’ll keep watching at the White House. Or will the kids have to sneak out to view it at the Secret Service post?
You have to give credit to Trump for bringing the world together and getting people on their feet, parading. Speaking of counting, think of all the pounds lost through the exercise. “Even the introverts are here,” read one poster. Another, not in Moscow, read, “Democracy is not a spectator sport.”
A lot of Muslim head scarves were worn, and I liked one woman’s stars-and-stripes model. My favorite sign at the Santa Barbara march showed a drawing of the Statue of Liberty with the words “I’m With Her.” Could Trump argue with that? Maybe put it on a postage stamp?
Despite the warm, affectionate things Trump has said about our brothers and sisters the Mexicans, Mexico’s President Enrique Peña Nieto plans to come to Washington to meet Trump next Tuesday, flying rather than driving, due to false reports that Trump’s Wall is already up. Will Peña Nieto have to sign loan papers to finance it?
As we all know, Trump is going to raise hell in Washington, D.C. Will his regime be a refreshing amusement-park-ride jolt or an earthquake? I think we’re not really aware of what’s coming. Save your money.
As Margo Channing, played by Bette Davis, famously said in the movie All About Eve, “Fasten your seatbelts. It’s going to be a bumpy night.”