Defending Sweetie

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Starshine is wrong [“Soured on Sweetie,” 5/22/08, independent.com/soursweetie]. “Sweetie” is not a sexist word.

My first encounter with the term was 20 years ago when my friend, the late Bob Smith, grabbed me and delivered a big hug while saying, “Hey Sweetie, how are you?” I never saw Bob that he did not call me by that term and give me a solid hug. He reserved this term for those he was close to. I always felt special when he said it.

Up until that time, my word for someone I liked was “Angel,” a term my Aunt Marie used. But Bob’s “Sweetie” was so infectious that I transformed “Angel” into “Sweetie.”

Then I read Starshine’s column. I was crushed. I hate being thought of as sexist. My mother would disown me. My sisters would be upset. My wife, my daughter, and my son would be disappointed. I call them Sweetie all the time. Once I even called my friend Steve Cushman “Sweetie.” He took offense and did not speak to me for several days, and then only with an admonition not to call him Sweetie.

I took Starshine’s comments to heart and thought about changing my ways. I tried to substitute other words. None worked. I thought about seeking professional help. I took long walks and reconsidered almost everything in life. I don’t know what to do. Had I not read Starshine’s column, I would have called her Sweetie. I am lost. She is special.

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