Summer School: Fine Art Photography, Screenwriting,Sea Glass Hunting and Whooping Cough... Santa Barbara Style

I was allergic to my DPT shots as a I never got them. The result of two attempts was anaphylactic shock. The "P" in DPT is pertussis...or whooping cough. I had nothing in body to protect me.

My poor family is now being tortured by this unrelenting cough. It racks my whole body and their patience. Sheesh! I have never had anything that made me feel so agitated ,sleep deprived and plain beat up. This sudden illness could after all, give me a brilliant excuse to do...nothing and push back...once again...passion and purpose.

I am reminded once again...

How many things have I not started in my life? And then,for whatever very valid, epic and dramatic reason...I squirmed out of starting a goal. How many dreams have I not taken the first step toward? How many times have I let the channel changer be my whimsy? For all of my "bravado" I still had "flowers in the attic" ...dreamed... but unattended. Hoped for... but not attempted. Well look out brothers and sisters...

"It's a new's a new way...and I'm feelin' good!"

Sea Glass Hunting as Medicinal Meditation

The best time to hunt for Sea Glass is early in the morning when the tide is still low and the beach is quiet except for the sound of crashing waves and softly squawking sea gulls. And Sea Glass hunting is better after bad weather. A storm can jangle the ocean and loosen old treasures that then come to shore.

It is easy to create a meditation that weaves dreaming with hunting. When I hunt for sea glass I often watch my mind wander about and I often let the moment take me to wherever. Like inward grand adventures.

It isn't hard here because we have this splendid place to inspire our dreams. I dream of a great house with a big kitchen and a sort of "great room" with a huge fireplace.Where I can write by a fire near a window and cook...all at the same time. Where French brass bottomed copper pots and pans dangle from above,glistening in the firelight. Two ovens; one a wood burning Aga and the other stainless steel. A huge marble cutting board on an island. Eight burners.Lots of counters,cabinets and a pantry. Herbs hanging from a rack that suspends from the ceiling. A huge stainless fridge,great knives a freestanding mixer. And when you are in the kitchen you can lookout the french doors and see a view of lush wild flower gardens. Well conceived patio with cushy Stickely furniture and fire-fly lights tucked into all the tree's and bushes. If you ask me what I miss most from the south it would

Sometimes I imagine success as a writer,screenwriter,actor...gosh even as a ballroom dancer and a Broadway success...I am why not go for it,huh?

My photographs for this class took me to places...emotional....nostalgic...painful...healing. My teacher drove me email.The intention was to get me to quite. Teach:"too much going on...and with your disability...your life...well...I have concerns."

Yeah...well...I "me" for a long time and I cannot see a "better time" to take these classes. I think 33 years is long enough to wait. You could say I have PHD in procrastinating.To be honest ...avoiding so many things I wanted to do...created so much anxiety that I became "frozen". I am thawing out now...back on the planet to do"the work". The result? Now I feel like a starving woman in front of a buffet. I can have all I want,my only problem...I don't know where to start...but start I have. My intention? To just keep "starting" and not only that...finishing...completing...these long faded dreams.

~ "Whatever you think you can do or believe you can do, begin it. Action has magic, grace and power in it. Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

I know I talk about all of this a lot right now. Probably to ad-nausium...but I need reminding. Especially right now...when I am imitating Elizabeth Barrett Browning or Camille. (in my chez lounge of sorts)...dieing of whooping cough. Sounds so... (not) romantic.

None the less...I feel inspired. Exhausted and achy,but inspired.

Even now...while the antibiotics are kicking my "arse" and the cough is leaving me so sleep deprived that while I was sitting/sleeping in the big chair that sits downstairs...I thought I saw my brother...who has been long gone from this planet. Something happens to me when I lose sleep. I go into a kind of "dream time" and reality is subjective. I had gone downstairs at the usual 5 a.m. after fighting with the cough for almost an hour... and while I lay in the "big chair" (an extraordinarily large lounger we have...sleeps like a ginormous cloud)...I had a sort of dream and I talked to my brother about life. He reminded me that he is always with me...beneath me...around me...on all sides. I had a vision of him just "there" and I had a feeling that everything would be alright. I felt safe and protected.

So there ya go...the upside of having whooping cough. Delusions...of grandeur...and I think...hope.

And tomorrow the tide will have a low point and I will drag my sorry ass to the beach and walk and hunt for my divine little treasures. My meditative jewels of hope: The emerald greens of success,the aqua marine of adventure, the browns of warmth,the clear frosted of all the possibility that life offers.

Maybe I will find the elusive red sea glass...but I won't know if I don't try. To try is to be of the belief that anything is possible. And like any other being in this vast universe...we are all equal...and part of a greater whole. Maybe hunting for sea glass is my way of saying to the universe "I believe."


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