Stephen Miller is this admin’s Homeland Security Advisor, but Die Heimat sometimes takes a back seat to his true passion — his band. Stephen began the Stephen Miller Band as a cover band of the Steve Miller Band because he believed so strongly in the manosphere tone of the older band’s songs:
Take the Money and Run — This idea is an integral part of the Stephen Miller Band mantra.
The Joker — The timeless misogyny of this song is captured in its verse “I really love your peaches, wanna shake your tree,” a pick-up line that Andrew Tate followers still use today.
Living in the USA — Ultimate mansophere, plus It’s fun to hear Das Donald shout “Somebody give me a cheeseburger!” at the end. He really means it!
Stephen now writes the band’s songs and, though they may contain simple anti- woke refrains, he’s also a diabolical craftsman whose lyrics proudly proclaim the expansion of presidential power. Yet Das Donald, his frontman, doesn’t actually seem to understand the lyrics he’s singing — when asked what the song UET meant, Das just complained that fans at their shows were always being undercounted. (Stephen would tell you it’s Unitary Executive Theory).
Pete Hegseth is the band’s lead guitarist and seriously imitates a ’50s Greaser look. He calls band meetings just to remind members how masculine they should act. Other band members include the eye-lined drummer JD — hopefully the one and only; on keyboard is Mister Vought — “The Destroyer of Checks and Balances”; and, least we forget, if only we could, Little Marco plays the yes-man as best he can, and any instrument thrown at him.
As indicated by Greasy Pete, the band creates a look, a feel, an attitude, and displays a belief in stereotypes that come right out of the 1950s – aka The Golden Age of Misogyny. Watching them perform is like taking a step back in time, as if you were living in Back to the Future but without the Future. Even Miller gets into the act by dressing like a German émigré in 1950s Argentina.
The Stephen Miller Band is not just a cover band — they’re also a cover-up band. In their recent release, The White (House) Album, not only does Miller deny co-opting the title of the album, he denies stealing other bands’ melodies. Some critics say Miller even stole lyrics from Joseph Goebbels’ “The Storm is Coming” speech and translated them into English. Decide for yourself – here’s the list of songs on the album, followed by my liner notes.
Every Job You Take — The band acts out this song dressed like masked ICE Agents arresting immigrants in a sting operation — which just reminds everyone that this stolen melody was written by Sting.
Writers of the Storm — Miller seems to have taken the metaphor of a coming political storm from Goebbels in this darkly suggestive Doors imitation.
Raise the Flag — Miller claims Das is singing patriotically about the American flag in this translation of Die Fahne Hoch.
Pay You, Pay Me — Hard to believe, but Miller actually wrote a song about lawsuits. He’ll probably get sued by Lionel Ritchie for this one.
That’s the Power of Guv — Though this song’s melody is obviously stolen from Huey Lewis and the News, Miller calls such accusations fake news, and part of “die große Lüge” of leftwing lunatics.
I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas — A bland and benign rendition of a holiday classic until you realize Das isn’t singing about snow.
The Stephen Miller Band is often compared to the German band Die Toten Hosen because of their painful banality, White ignorance, and sexist sense of humor. However, no matter what color he dyes his hair, Das will never measure up to the performance of Hosen’s lead singer Campino.
If you still wish to see the band perform, they will be playing at the White House for the next three years. They’re even building a huge new Golden Ballroom so that more people can come hear them.
But here’s a warning — you may get one of their songs stuck in your head. Because, once you hear it, no matter how hard you try — you will never forget their plagiarized melody of Grab the Pu##y and Run.
