Smoochin’ the Pooch
The Angry Poodle tells the Santa Barbara City Council a good way to make money: rent to cannabis dispensaries.
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The Angry Poodle tells the Santa Barbara City Council a good way to make money: rent to cannabis dispensaries.
SOMETHING PISSY THIS WAY COMES: Greka Oil has done it again. And again and again and again. At a time when oil companies like Chevron and BP are spending many millions to greenwash us into believing they can be environmentally caring and sharing, it’s good to have down-and-dirty operators like Greka keeping it real.
NOT SO FUNNY, MR. CLAUS: Although there are still 18 shopping days before Christmas, the overwhelming frontrunner in this year’s Scrooge Award contest is the Bridgehouse Homeless Shelter up the road in the fair city of Lompoc.
The Poodle himself, Nick Welsh, reveals the real facts behind the News-Press’ lawsuit against The Independent.
BYE-BYE BARNWELL: Maybe it’s true that defeat is an orphan and victory has a thousand fathers. But in the weird case of Santa Barbara City Councilmember Brian Barnwell, defeat appears more like a class action paternity suit.
I’M MELTING: I want to sue someone for false advertising. Last Friday’s gathering at Fess Parker’s DoubleTree came billed as a smackdown for the ages, pitting well-paid apologists for big oil against the party-pooping doom ‘n’ gloomers who populate the global warming jet set.
BURNED, CHURNED, AND UNLEARNED: I want to thank our friendly neighborhood oil giant, Venoco, for buying nine trombones and giving them to the Santa Barbara elementary school music program. If all businesses were so inclined, we wouldn’t have to fret about the future of public school music education as we do on nearly a monthly basis.
THE REAL McCAW: This being America, we’ve all become addicted to neat and tidy endings, ideally scrunched into a 30-minute format. This being Santa Barbara-where our civic melodramas have no beginning, no end, and only sprawling middles that yawn on forever-we can forget it.
FRUTA DEL DIABLO: My guess is UCSB chemistry professor Thomas Bruice just doesn’t like strawberries. What other explanation could there possibly be? Bruice was one of the 54 world-class chemists and biochemists who signed a letter to the Environmental Protection Agency late last month, urgently warning the agency not to approve the use of methyl iodide, a potent soil fumigant, necessary for the cultivation of strawberries.
I HEART S.B.: I’m thrilled that Rudy Giuliani, former mayor of the Big Apple and presidential aspirant, likes Santa Barbara so much. In recent months, he’s graced us with not one but two visits. I was especially impressed with how Rudy worked the room at Joe’s Cafe last Friday-where he conspicuously did not eat either an Omaha, a French dip, or anything else-shaking hands with customers and hugging the kitchen help he would presumably move mountains to deport once elected.