Donald Trump stood in front of the mirror, adjusting his long red tie. He looked at his reflection, smiled, and thought, “The best face that money could buy.” He looked around the gas station’s restroom one last time and shuddered. How could people use such things? He pushed open the door and joined the adoring crowd waiting for him outside.
His son Donald Junior rushed up to him. “Dad, did you know that at the first gas stations, people would drive their cars into the store, fill up, and then drive through the back door?”
Steven Miller quickly pushed Donald Jr. out of the way. “Shut up, Junior.” He leaned into Trump and whispered, “All you have to do is cut the red ribbon, and we’re out of here.”
He guided Trump to the front of the gas station, where a large red ribbon read: TRUMP PUMP – MAKE AMERICA GO AGAIN!
The station was one of hundreds that Trump had been given by the oil cartels in exchange for the generous terms he had afforded them for Venezuelan crude. It had been one of the best deals Trump had ever made. In exchange for giving a few key American oil conglomerates control of the seized oil reserves, they had struck a deal with Trump that would allow him to open hundreds of stations to help distribute that gasoline.
Trump’s stations were strategically placed on freeways throughout America. They were even given exclusivity to sell gas in America’s national parks. It was one of the sweetest deals he’d ever made.
Donald Junior carefully splashed some gasoline in front of his father. He took out a lighter and dropped it on the puddle. “Dad, did you know that gasoline isn’t even flammable?” A secret service agent quickly whisked Trump away.
Steven Miller gave Junior a hard push, saying, “You really are an idiot!”
Trump now cut the ribbon and took a handsome platinum credit card from his pocket. He said, “This is the Trump-pump card. With it, you can get any grade of ‘Trumptane’ you want.” Stations no longer used the term octane to measure gasoline.
Donald Junior again rushed up to his father and said, “Dad, of all the hundred thousand gas stations in America, yours are the best!” Again, Steven Miller shoved him aside as he and Trump got into a limousine, waved to the crowd of drivers waiting to fill up at his new station, and drove away.
Donald Junior sadly waved, but then smiled and thought to himself, “My dad can do anything!”
