It’s not often you come across a person who cares deeply for the people around her, meets them where they are with kindness and compassion, and reminds everyone to look for the joyful moments around them. I had the extraordinary privilege to have such a person as my mother.
Sharon Gail Van Dorn was born January 29, 1953, in Westfield, New York, to parents Howard and Olympia Van Dorn. In 1954, her brother, Eric, was born, and a few months later, the family moved to Kernville, California. The following year the family moved to Bakersfield, where a younger sister, Ingrid, was born in 1956. After another move, this time to Burlingame in the Bay Area, the family put down roots in San Mateo, buying a beautiful two-story house with a stately pine tree in the front yard where the children could grow up, a house that is still in the family today.
Howard taught French at the nearby Aragon High School, and Olympia would substitute teach, usually French and Spanish. When Sharon, Eric, and Ingrid were all in high school, it was not unusual that most if not all of the family would be on campus at the same time, saying hi to one another in the hallways.
Sharon graduated high school with the Class of 1971 and headed south to attend UC Santa Barbara, graduating in 1975 with a BA in sociology after years of making friends, playing basketball, and riding horses on the beach. In 1977, she took off on an adventure to Maui, where she lived with friends in Nāpili and spent her time swimming in the bay, hiking in the bamboo forests of Hāna, exploring the island of Lānaʻi, and waitressing and spending long hours in the library in Lāhainā.
In 1980, Sharon returned to Santa Barbara, where she found her calling. In March 1981, she started work at Alpha Resource Center, an organization that began in 1953 with the mission of empowering children and adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities and providing resources to their families. Sharon worked her way up from instructor to program manager of Alpha’s Adult Services, working directly with the program participants while also managing staff, and even volunteering her time for events such as the Special Olympics. She became known as a tireless advocate for the participants, creating an environment where they could thrive and become more independent, discover passions, and navigate the world with confidence. Those who worked with Sharon described her calm, warm, and approachable manner, and they emphasized her high integrity, fairness, honesty, and dedication to providing both the participants and the staff with an environment in which they could be their best.
One day in 1989, a job applicant named Thomas Reeg came to Alpha to tour the program and see exactly what the position would entail. Sharon took him through a day at Alpha, and her warmth, friendliness, and respect for the participants made an impression on him. It was plain to see, he told me, that she truly cared for the participants, and that they adored her. Tom ended up deciding that he wouldn’t be a fit for the job — but he gave Sharon a call.
They began dating, with one of their favorite spots in town being Mom’s Italian Village on East Cota Street. They also enjoyed weekend getaways; one particular trip to Napa Valley found the weather so hot that they ditched the wine tasting for root beer floats. Not minding doing things a little nontraditionally, they married on March 30, 1996, at the Santa Barbara County Courthouse, in a small, intimate ceremony officiated by a friend, Judge Denise de Bellefeuille, and I followed soon after: their only child, born May 10, 1996.
My mom loved animals, and I never wanted for a sibling growing up — I was always surrounded by playmates, as we always had cats, dogs, and rabbits. She also enjoyed cooking and baking, as well as gardening, and she would try her hand at growing all kinds of things, from lemons to tomatoes to pumpkins. She also enjoyed traveling, and she and her sister, Ingrid, had lots of adventures that included exploring the castle in Edinburgh and Shakespeare’s house in Stratford-upon-Avon; seeing Richard Harris perform Shakespeare in London; bayou tours and Bourbon Street in New Orleans; historical sightseeing and art shows in Boston and Concord; and enjoying the spooky, witchy fun of Salem. When I was born, I joined the group, and my mom, Ingrid, and my grandma Olympia, and I took trips up and down California, from Sacramento and San Francisco to Bakersfield, Kernville, and San Diego, and we had countless laughs and good times along the way.
One of the most important things my mother taught me was the power of humor and the importance of finding the balance between working hard and yet never taking life too seriously. I certainly inherited her goofy sense of humor, and the two of us had a thousand silly inside jokes that keep me laughing even as I write this. She also taught me to never be afraid to laugh at yourself; often, she’d come to me to tell me about something funny that happened to her that day, and while sometimes it might be something that another person might be mortified to tell, my mom would be cracking up, eager to share the laugh with me!
My mother had the gift of seeing the good and unique qualities in just about everyone she met. It’s what made her such a kind and compassionate mentor at her job, a loving and thoughtful wife at home, and a caring and encouraging mother to me. She knew how to bring out the best in people, and she led by example.
Sharon passed away on November 26, 2025, at Cottage Hospital. Here to remember her are her husband, Thomas Reeg; daughter, Tessa Reeg; sister, Ingrid Van Dorn; brother, Eric Van Dorn; and countless friends.
My mom is wonderful proof of the fact that you don’t have to be famous or groundbreaking to make the world a better place. With her steadfast passion, giving spirit, and endless kindness, she improved the lives of innumerable people around her and set the groundwork for those people to help others in return. Her legacy is one of warmth and compassion for everyone, no matter your level of ability. She led her life with love, and with plenty of laughter along the way.
To honor my mother’s memory, I encourage you to make a donation to Alpha Resource Center or its art studio, Slingshot, to help them continue their incredible work in making the world a kinder place.
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