The president wasn’t that surprised when his son Barron burst into the Oval Office. His whole life, he’d always replicated onto his children how he’d been raised. Ignored and spoiled. To Donald, it had been a fair trade. Yes, it might have been satisfying having a dad who did things with you, or even knew you existed.
Much of his youth had been spent with kids like him. Children who had been sent to the best schools or military academies the world had to offer. Places for families who didn’t have either time or interest in their little ones. His other children had turned out great, so why change a successful formula?
Before the Commander-in Chief could even open his mouth, Barron blurted out, “Dad, I’ve joined the Army!”
Trump stood up and shook his head. “Absolutely not! What are you, a moron?”
“You didn’t think I was such a moron when I told you to reach out to podcaster and influencers? Who sent you to Joe Rogan? Talking to them got you my generation. You’re president today because of me.”
Trump walks over to him and puts an arm on his shoulder.
“Son, I truly appreciate you. When you said you wanted a whole floor in Trump Tower, didn’t I give it to you?”
“Yeah,” Barron replies, “So that you and mom wouldn’t have me around.”
“Didn’t I give you my name?” Trump asks.
“C’mon, you named me after the nickname you used when you were banging Marla Maples, ‘The Barron.’”
Trump is starting to lose it. He hates it when anyone argues back.“Who let you stay in New York for most of my first term, so you could be with your friends?”
“No, Dad, you kept me there to keep Mom away. Plus, I’m really bored with business school. You’re the one who keeps telling me you didn’t learn a thing there.”
Barron stands and puts his hands on his father’s shoulders. “Look, this would be a good move for the family. All anyone talks about is how great it is to win gold medals and take over countries.”
Trump has had enough. “Barron, you know anyone else your age with a permanent Secret Service detail. No. The second you’re in the Army, you become the prime target for every one of my enemies. Finally, I busted my balls to get you onto the board of directors of TikTok. They don’t want you in the Army.
Barron turns around and storms out of the Oval Office. He glares back at his father. “I don’t care what you say, I’m joining!”
Trump sighs and sits back down at his desk. He sends an email, and a moment later, his private line rings. Trump immediately answers it.
“General, I need a favor … How hard will it be for the Army to find bone spurs on Barron?”
