Roger Whalen
1938-2025
Roger Whalen, dad, grandpa, and close friend to many, passed away surrounded by family and his dear friend and caregiver Pavel. He was an amazingly loving husband, sharing a deep and enduring bond with our late mother, Patty Denton Whalen, who passed at 60. Known for his wit, integrity, and generosity of spirit, Roger lived by the Golden Rule, bringing laughter, warmth, and connection to everyone around him.
Born in San Gabriel, CA, Roger’s early years were humble and challenging. Guided by his hard-working mother, Ethel Burns Whalen, and a few dedicated mentors — including a man he fondly called “Old Mr. Martinez,” who introduced him to baseball and teamwork — Roger developed a deep belief in hard work, kindness, and perseverance. He saw a way out of his rough upbringing through sports.
Roger got to UCSB as a walk-on football player (he literally just walked onto the field), majored in math, joined the ROTC, and became an officer in the Army’s 101st Airborne — despite a fear of heights. It was at UCSB that he met the love of his life, Patty, at a fraternity-sorority mixer. Together, they built not only a beautiful home, but a life rich with laughter, love, and community — next door to the Knowlwood Tennis Club, where so many memories of family, friends, and dear neighborhood connections were made.
Roger began his career as a bricklayer and later became a builder and real estate developer, partnering for more than 40 years with close friends. His craftsmanship can still be seen in local landmarks — from the Paradise Café and Chucks Steakhouse to the Santa Barbara Zoo. He was deeply involved in his community, serving on boards like the UCSB Alumni Association and Montecito Union School Board, sharing his wit and wisdom as a longtime Toastmaster, and helping local students as a dedicated math tutor.
After losing his lifelong love and wife Patty far too soon, Roger focused his time traveling the world, attending lectures at Harvard’s Kennedy School, and making new friends wherever he went. His curiosity, empathy, and humor never waned.
He was an avid tennis player (famous for his oversized racquet and uncanny ability to psych out his opponents), basketball player, cyclist, skier, ocean kayaker, a devoted father, and a wonderful grandfather to his grandkids. He may not have looked graceful doing any of it, but he had grit to spare, a fierce competitive streak, and a way of making every game, ride, or adventure unforgettable. Whether on a bike, at the breakfast table, or in a heartfelt conversation, Roger thrived on connecting with people and sharing the lessons — and laughs — that shaped his life.
Roger is survived by his children and their families — Janet and Brad Stimson (Jake and Luke), Terry and Kelly Whalen (Oliver and Saybrook), and Julie and Tino Schuetz (Andreas and Nicole). His humor and love of life live on in them, appearing in jokes, spirited debates, and the memories they share together.
He’ll be remembered as a builder — not just of homes, but of community, character, and connections, seasoned with his sharp wit and occasional irreverence.
In lieu of flowers please consider a donation to the SCHOLARSHIP FOUNDATION of SANTA BARBARA “in memory of Roger Whalen”
