In Memoriam: David Maurice Mendoza 1976–2025

“Your absence has gone through me / Like thread through a needle. / Everything I do is stitched with its color.”
—WS Merwin

It is with a heart both shattered and overflowing with love that I share the devastating news of the sudden passing of my husband, David Maurice Mendoza, on May 17 at just 49 years old. My soulmate, my partner in crime, the father of our amazing children, and the most vibrant soul I’ve ever known, has left us far too soon — though knowing Dave, he’s probably already playing in a heavenly rock band and making renovation plans.

David lived his life out loud, and the quiet left in his wake is unbearable. Your absence, my love, has gone through me like thread through a needle — everything I do is stitched with the color of missing you but also with all the joy you brought to every single day.

I met Dave in 2002 when his band, The Hero and The Victor, was a staple of Santa Barbara’s vibrant indie music scene. He was impossible to miss with his signature blond streak, his leopard-print creepers, and collection of wild vintage shirts. He lit up a room. In 2007, we got to tour Tokyo and play on stages throughout the city as he won over crowds using the Japanese words he learned while packing.

Our love story began in the music and continued across the globe. We backpacked through countries where Dave would jam with street musicians. We stayed in hostels or fancy hotels with equal panache, and he’d always charm the staff and become fast friends. He called me “G,” and together we made music, memories, and eventually a cozy home, and a beautiful family.

Dave was born in Glendale and raised in a bilingual home that nurtured his superpower: making connections with people. From elementary school through Foothill High School in Orange County, teachers would recruit him as their unofficial translator. After a stint at Orange Coast College, he moved up to Santa Barbara in 1997 and was hooked.

My husband found his true calling as an educator with Santa Barbara Unified School District, where he worked for 22 years. He taught music and started Santa Barbara’s first youth mariachi band at Franklin Elementary, getting a chance to play onstage at the Santa Barbara Bowl. (It counts!) He earned his master’s in education and special education certification, teaching math and special education at Santa Barbara High School and helping countless kids to graduate and pursue their dreams. Mr. Mendoza had a knack for bringing challenges down to size, and he inspired kids to believe in their potential.

But Dave’s real masterpiece was our home life. His motto was to live like he was on vacation, which meant our house was always full of music, friends, and whatever project he’d dreamed up that week. Day trips with the kids, surfing with friends, soaking in his hot tub, fixing up and customizing our house — Dave found time and energy for it all.

Recently, he’d been teaching 4-year-old Dahlia and 2-year-old Dylan to play guitar. They’d perform “Happy Birthday” together at every party (whether it was requested or not), and Dave would beam. He was so proud of them. I hope when they play those songs again, I can hear him in their giggles and see his unbridled creativity in their fearless performances.

Everything I do is stitched with the color of Dave’s absence, yes — and what a vibrant, beautiful color it is. He painted our lives in bold strokes: from our wedding in Cancun where we jumped into the Caribbean in our whites, to the kids’ Bluey-themed birthday party. He always brought something extra. He made every day special.

Dave leaves behind his parents, Jorge and Ligia Mendoza; his sister Monica Souter and her family; and so many adoring aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and cousins — and friends who became family. He also leaves behind two little wonders who think their Daddio hung the moon, and a loving wife who knows he did.

My husband was a dreamer who made the impossible feel inevitable. Now it’s up to Dahlia, Dylan, and me to find the strength to carry on his legacy of making ordinary moments magic and believing in a big future.

Dave would want us, and all of his friends and students, to keep working hard, making music, and living each day to the fullest. So that’s exactly what we’re going to do, with his absence threading through everything we are, stitching us together with the most beautiful, wild, hopeful colors imaginable.

Yours always in love, laughter, and gratitude for our beautiful and chaotic life together. —G

For those who wish to honor David’s memory, we’re grateful for donations to the GoFundMe supporting our little family’s next chapter: tinyurl.com/DMMendoza. A Celebration of Life will be scheduled at a later date.