I was shocked to read that a satirist at The Independent had been arrested — I had no idea the police were even looking for me. Then I found out that the story wasn’t about me. But the question is — could it happen here?
Because the satirist was Faith Zaba who writes for The Zimbabwe Independent and was arrested July 1, 2025. One article about her arrest stated that Zimbabwe is a “multi-party democracy” but “in recent years” the government has begun a “crackdown on civil society and weaponized the law to silence government critics.” Boy, does that sound familiar.
What was the satire that got Zaba arrested? The government claimed that she “undermined the authority of President Mnangagwa” when she wrote that he ran the country like “a Mafia State.” Strange coincidence — I read about her on the same day I was writing a piece to submit to The Santa Barbara Independent entitled “The Don in Donald” in which I describe how our President runs our country just like a Don runs a Mafia State.
True story.
Back to the question — could I get arrested if Santa Barbara’s Independent posts my satire about our President acting like a mobster? Could any satire actually get me in trouble in our jolly republican kingdom? Let’s test the waters.
Which satire could get me arrested?
(1) He’s two syllables short of being a dictator. He’s just a dic.
(2) He’s ageless — this 79-year-old man’s efforts to implement his simplistic ideas are as naive and reckless as a just-starting-his-puberty teenager.
(3) He claims his favorite word is “tariffs.” Judging by his actions, that must be true. Also, judging by his actions, it must be true that his favorite sentence is “Armed masked men destroy brown-skinned families.”
Which satire could get me a visit from the FBI?
(1) He treats Free Speech as if it’s an ad for something he’s giving away.
(2) He was actually surprised to learn that Putin had lied to him. That’s it — that’s the joke — he was actually surprised to learn that Putin had lied to him.
(3) He acts like the American Government is one of his golf courses – but it’s called the American Government because it belongs to the American people. He doesn’t own it, its employees don’t work for him, and tariffs aren’t green fees.
Which satire could get me attacked on social media?
(1) He’s weaponized the government to attack only the people he perceives as his enemy. He defines his enemy as anyone who disagrees with him.
(2) He is very proud to be making money by marketing and selling his new brand. He calls it The Presidency.
(3) He bullies judges like they’re just referees and ignores laws like they’re just rules, treating the legal system like it’s a game he won’t play. It’s revenge for always getting picked last in gym class.
Which satire could get me wire-tapped?
(1) He’s been accused of behaving as if women, and people of color, are not his equal. In his mind, he has a solid defense — he’s a white male.
(2) He praises his humor, using his insults to intimidate, humiliate, and castigate. He’s conflated his Donald Trump Presidency with a Don Rickles Presidency.
(3) He’s defunded programs and research saying they don’t support his political agenda. It’s one person, one vote — not one person decides how you vote.
Which satire could get me audited?
(1) He makes up “facts” to “prove” what he says. If he was President during the Civil War, Confederates would have somehow won the War Between the States.
(2) He believes Trump is always right, that Trump is all-powerful, and that all should praise Trump. He is Big Brother of the Bro World.
(3) He lies. All the time. About everything. He is the biggest liar in the history of the world. Forget the Peace Prize, he should win the Nobel Prize for Lying.
If you think the story of Faith Zaba — a satirist who was arrested by her own government — could never happen in America, just read what our own President wrote on Truth Social, July 18, 2025, about his attitude toward three of the highest profile late-night satirists in our country:
“I absolutely love that Colbert got fired. His talent was even less than his ratings. I hear Jimmy Kimmel is next. Has even less talent than Colbert! Greg Gutfeld is better than all of them combined, including the Moron on NBC who ruined the once great Tonight Show.”
True story.
