1. They had Homer, we had Homer Simpson.
2. They had the Oracle of Delphi; we had Fox News.
3. They had Herodotus; we had Bill O’Reilly
4. They had the Peloponnesian League. We had the National and American leagues.
5. They had Cleopatra; we had Melania Trump.
6. They had Alexander the Great; we had Jason Alexander.
7. They had Plato; we had Play-Doh.
8. They had Socrates; we had sock-it-to-me.
9. They had helots; we had immigrants.
10. They had Plato’s Academy; we had Plato’s Retreat.
11.They had the great Library of Alexandria; we had Blockbuster
12. They had Hippocrates; we had Robert Kennedy
13. They had Euclid; we had Dr. Oz.
14. They had animal sacrifice; we had McDonalds.
15. They had the world’s first democracy; we had the world’s last democracy.
