If I wanted to destroy affordable housing in Santa Barbara, I wouldn’t swing a wrecking ball. No, I’d smile politely and pass laws. I’d say I was protecting people, preserving neighborhoods, saving the environment, looking after the renters from evil landlords. And then — brick by brick, regulation by regulation — I’d make it impossible to build or maintain housing anyone could afford.
First, I would drown every new housing proposal in process. I’d let planning and permitting drag on for years, not months. I’d require stacks of studies — seismic, coastal, archaeological, biological — each one necessary, each one slow. I’d delay until developers gave up and lenders moved on.
Then I’d make building small and dense — the kind that working families can actually afford — practically unlivable. Height limits, setback rules, coastal overlays, neighborhood overlays, aesthetic overlays — I’d stack them like sandbags around every parcel of land. The message would be clear: If you want to build homes, build somewhere else.
I would weaponize fees. Impact fees, traffic fees, school fees, transit fees — a fee for every dream. I’d whisper the word “inclusionary” and pretend it meant affordable housing, while quietly making every unit more expensive to construct.
Then I’d turn neighbors into vigilantes with “community review.” I’d hold public hearings that last until midnight and invite emotional testimony about “neighborhood character.” I’d call it democracy. But really, it’s tyranny of the minority. It would be veto power for the loudest 5 percent.
But why stop new housing when I can punish the people who already provide it?
I’d pass rent control — the silent killer of affordable housing. I’d promise it protects tenants, but I’d ignore its history. I’d ignore that when you cap rent, you cap maintenance. When you freeze income, you freeze investment. And I’d act surprised when landlords sell, rental units disappear, and the housing supply shrinks.
Then I would raise energy costs. I’d mandate all-electric conversions, solar retrofits, EV infrastructure, energy compliance audits — noble ideas, every one of them. But I’d force landlords to pay for it alone. I’d call it climate policy, but I’d never admit it drives rents higher and pushes mom-and-pop housing providers out of business.
Next, I’d inflate property taxes and assessments with endless bond measures. A little extra for schools here, a little for transportation there — and before long, I’d have doubled the cost of holding a modest fourplex without building a single new home. And call into question the safeguards afforded all property owners through Proposition 13 making claims it creates “inequities.”
I would pass ordinances that quietly turn landlords into criminals — rent caps, relocation penalties, inspection schemes, private right of action lawsuits. I’d make it easier to sue a landlord than to lease from one. And I’d make sure the rules were confusing, so even good landlords lived in fear of technical violations.
Then I’d divide the community — tenants against landlords. I’d pass Tenant Protection Ordinances that presume guilt, that forbid “harassment” but never define it, that treat every no-fault eviction as a moral failure. Good people who provide housing would be treated as the enemy. And I’d call it justice.
Finally — I would ensure everyone blamed “the market” instead of the real culprit: bad governance.
Because if I wanted to destroy affordable housing in Santa Barbara, I wouldn’t need a bulldozer. I would only need:
• Endless regulation
• Weaponized rent control
• Soaring energy mandates
• Escalating property taxes
• Ordinances that punish housing providers
• Laws that divide landlord and tenant
• And a government that says “yes” to process and “no” to housing.
And I would do it all while insisting I care deeply about affordability.
But — if we want a different ending to this story — we should remember a simple truth:
Housing is not created by speeches, hearings, or government slogans. Housing is created when we allow people to build it and control it.
