FIGHTING WORDS: I love the language of lawyers, and the more weirdly remote, the better. In a recent letter sent out to as many as seven local merchants, attorney Barry Cappello charged that the pro-union posters in their business establishments could generate “obloquy” toward News-Press owner and publisher Wendy P. McCaw-against whom the current Teamsters Union drive is directed.
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FICUS FRACAS OR HOW LOWE CAN YOU GO? Recent events call to mind the ancient philosophical riddle: If a hedge is clipped in the wilds of Montecito without its celebrity owner’s consent and the News-Press isn’t there to report it, did it really happen? I can assure you I was not there last summer when, under the mistaken understanding that he had permission, Jim Neuman trespassed onto the property of actor Rob Lowe, his Padaro Lane neighbor, to trim the hedge that blocked Neuman’s million-dollar coastal view.
GILDING THE LILLY: It’s true I haven’t played baseball in a long time, but I still know a bean ball when I see one. And that’s exactly what Beanie Baby billionaire Ty Warner is throwing these days. But that’s to be expected, I suppose. I am referring to Warner’s latest and greatest public tantrum in which he threatened to sell Montecito’s abandoned and dilapidated Miramar Hotel rather than renovate it, as he recently promised.
ENDZ OF ODD: Drat! I was hoping we’d at least get a moat out of the deal-one preferably stocked with piranhas, too. But it turns out the illegal fence the News-Press erected in front of its Anacapa Street parking lot will probably be coming down soon.
SEEING SUN SPOTS: Timing, as they say, is everything. In this regard, Santa Barbara City Councilmember Brian Barnwell is probably more than a few days late, not to mention a couple million bucks short. Even so, his idea makes a ton of sense, and I’m hoping the powers behind the throne at Cottage Hospital ultimately decide to embrace it rather than hunker down and fight it, as they have so far.
HEADS U WIN, TAILS I LOSE: The down-and-dirty showdown taking place at the bottom of State Street gives special urgency to that age-old philosophical dilemma-would you rather be eaten alive by a lion or a tiger?
JUBILATING AND TRIBULATING: It’s all over but the wailing and gnashing of teeth. I, for one, will miss it. Not the cacophony of dueling TV commercials per se or the din of direct mailers, but the sense of companionship that election season always brings. Now when the telephone rings, I know it will be just another solicitor hawking yet another line of credit cards, or perhaps time-share opportunities anywhere but lower State Street.
!%$@# HAPPENS: Poor Vladimir Kogan. He can’t buy a friend. At least not on Santa Barbara’s unforgiving blogosphere, now energized like never before. Kogan is one of the News-Press newbies recently hired to replace the 30-plus writers, editors, and photographers who quit-or were fired-protesting NP owner Wendy McCaw’s ferocious reign of error.
In the latest twist in the spiraling saga of Santa Barbara’s daily newspaper, Nick Welsh explains why The Independent is being sued by the News-Press, why they got no case, and why Wendy P. McCaw might be better off suing herself.
CHAMELEON BLUES: Poor Dan Secord. It’s not an easy time to be a Republican. It’s even harder to run as one. It’s Dan’s unhappy lot in life to run as a moderate, enlightened, bike-path Republican for a spot on the County Board of Supervisors at precisely…