Ryan Thomas Gardner

On March 31, 2025 you have been gone for one year.
The absence of your presence on earth is still very raw and painful. All of your family, loved ones and friends miss you so much. I think of you daily and treasure the memories of your life growing up in Goleta and your later life living in beautiful Santa Cruz and Scotts Valley. I feel your presence as I walk on the beach’s bluffs, drive by the baseball fields, pass by streams and rivers, and hear guitars on the radio. Your zest for living was infectious and you had so many incredible talents.

I miss your flecked hazel eyes and your rich brown hair streaked golden in the summers from the surf and sun.
I miss your smile Ryan, I miss your voice, I miss saying good morning to everyday when you and I were both driving to work,
I miss you sending me pictures of the steelhead you caught and released,
I miss you sending me pictures of the houses you worked on doing you incredible finishing with specialty woods,
I miss you playing the Metallica on the guitar.
We all miss your presence, Ryan.

You were the kindest person, Ryan!
After your death, I heard from so many old friends of yours, many from SBCC baseball. They shared things about you I was not surprised to hear. I heard that you were the first and only player on the team to welcome new guys with a warm hand shake and hello. You took new guys under your wing and showed them what hard work was, especially when it came to training. This they remember and they wrote to me paragraphs about you, and their grief for your loss. You made huge impacts on many players life. This speaks volumes about your character. They said the smile on your face made them understand that you genuinely loved what you were doing. Your death broke so many hearts Ryan.

I even heard from a girl I didn’t know from your elementary school. She wrote to me about the impression you left on her. She said you were a like a light. You made people around you feel welcome and accepted. You were always smiling and so outgoing. She said in sixth grade she wished she could be more like you; everyone was your friend and you were so confident. The impression you left on the world was warm accepting and loving.

Some days the pain feels unbearable, and I long to be where you are. Ryan, I know you are safe and at peace now, Ryan…surfing, fishing, playing ball and strumming your guitar somewhere beyond this world. Until we meet again.

I love and miss you, my son!