Kabir Chalfin
Kabir Chalfin was born Richard Chalfin on April 18, 1961, in Sheepshead Bay, New York. He was the youngest of three sons born to Leonard and Eleanor Chalfin.
Even in his “Richie” days—before adopting the Kabir moniker—Kabir always seemed to be the gravitational center of any group he joined. In those early years, more often than not, the group congregated in the basement of his parents’ home.
In 1973, Kabir attended his first Grateful Dead concert, and his life was never the same. From that moment on, the Grateful Dead became a wellspring of joy, friendship and community—a lasting source of happiness, camaraderie and deep belonging.
Kabir was unconventional, and he happily charted his own path through life – always according to his own sensibilities. After leaving high school early and earning his GED, he joined a traveling carnival, where he worked as a barker for the then brand-new Whac-A-Mole game.
Kabir dedicated much of his adult life to the service of others, beginning perhaps with the selfless work he performed at ashrams in New York and India. At the Shree Muktananda Ashram in the Catskills, Kabir helped manage a facility devoted to spiritual practice and inner peace. He also spent meaningful time at Gurudev Siddha Peeth in Ganeshpuri, India—the Siddha Yoga “mother ashram” where Siddha Yoga began. There, Kabir became known as the “key man” because he was entrusted with keys to nearly every lock in the ashram. It was a fitting role for a man who unlocked so many joyful and transformative experiences for so many people.
After returning to the United States, and following a brief stay in the Bay Area, Kabir made his home in Santa Barbara, California. In 1993, he began helping people with hearing loss, and over the course of a career spanning more than thirty years, Kabir lovingly helped thousands of people to hear better.
In Santa Barbara, Kabir founded SB Music Phreaks, a Facebook group and community hub that continues to connect people with live music and one-another in and around the city. He also co-founded Tribe, a coed adult softball team that helped Jewish people in Santa Barbara to build enduring friendships and community. The relationships and families formed through Tribe continue to this day.
As his sixty-fifth birthday approached, Kabir’s adventurous spirit called him once again, and he bravely moved from California to Southeast Asia, where he continued—as he always had—to meet kind people and to spread joy and laughter.
Kabir was a loyal friend. He was dependable, cheerful, thoughtful and kind; at times mischievous, but always reverent toward the sacred and the sublime. Most of Kabir’s friends remember the day he first entered their lives. How could one forget meeting Kabir? Maybe he was the empathetic professional helping you or someone you loved to hear more clearly. Maybe he was the kind stranger teaching people to hula hoop in the park. Maybe he was the charismatic yogi chanting in an ashram, glowing with love and emanating warmth. Or maybe he was the tie-dyed man with the giant smile and booming belly laugh, dancing and hula hooping in the back of a concert venue. Wherever you met him, he probably was surrounded by people who loved him then—and who love him still.
Kabir often ended his written communications with these words, which speak volumes about both his worldview and the impact he had on others:
May the wicked become good.
May the good obtain peace.
May the peaceful be freed from bonds.
May the freed set others free.
Kabir is survived by his brothers, Marty Chalfin and Les Chalfin; his nieces, Ana Chalfin and Olivia Chalfin; and countless close friends who considered him family.
His memory is a blessing to us all.
