Joseph Stapen
Joseph Ira Stapen (Joe) passed away peacefully at home on May 1, 2026, surrounded by the love and presence of his family and friends.
Joe was born in 1943 in New York City, the eldest son of Milton and Lois Stapen. A gifted student from an early age, he graduated high school at 16 years old before concluding his education at the University of Maryland School of Medicine, where he specialized in psychiatry.
Before embarking on his medical career, Joe spent significant time in the Haight-Ashbury neighborhood of San Francisco during the counterculture movement in honor of his “bohemian degenerate” nature. Joe’s love of intellect, art, and literature continued throughout his life. Joe published a book of poetry called “Open Your Mind and Say Aah,” and created a YouTube channel, “PS109VanBurenHigh,” as an outlet for his expressions with over 8 million views.
While working as a doctor in New York City, Joe met his first wife (Joan), a nurse. Shortly thereafter, with a newborn son in hand (Adam), they left New York and followed the trail out west, eventually settling in Denver, Colorado. While in Colorado, they welcomed a second son (Josh), and Joe discovered he had a profound appreciation of Native American art, which he began to collect. Though that marriage later ended in divorce, Joe soon met the love of his life, Betty Jean (BJ). Together, Joe and BJ built a life filled with love, companionship, creativity, and adventure. BJ shared Joe’s passion of art and expression, and they counterbalanced each other perfectly. Joe and BJ enjoyed the Colorado Rocky Mountain Lifestyle, including jazz at El Chapultepec and frequent and cherished getaways to Valley View. They continued Joe’s journey out west and moved to California in 1996, ultimately finding an oasis in Santa Barbara.
As a testament to his desire of helping others, Joe was able to establish a successful psychiatry practice in Santa Barbara without knowing a single person. He also provided expert witness testimony within his field. Joe was a familiar face at the local farmers market, where he enjoyed reconnecting with old friends and sharing conversations with the community he loved. Joe was known for his deep love of art, books, and vinyl records. Of all the artists he admired, his favorite was always BJ, whose artwork he proudly supported and celebrated. Joe cherished his time helping BJ set up her artwork at local festivals and galleries, and providing his point of view, when asked. BJ’s art and photographs were scattered throughout the walls of their home. Joe lived a fulfilled life. He was happy. He was content.
Joe was preceded in death by BJ and his parents. He is survived by his brother, Richard; his sons, Adam, and Josh; and his beloved grandchildren, Zachary, Monica, Talulah, and Christian. Joe will be remembered for his intellect, artistic spirit, and his genuine love.
Joe and BJ are embarking on their next great adventure out west…
