It was during that digestively challenged week between Christmas and New Year’s that I heard about a product that could make your shit not stink. The news came from a dear friend who had received an epically passive-aggressive present from his in-laws called Poo-Pourri. Still, his amazement was audible as he testified to me over the phone: “It works, man, it really does. I used it Christmas morning in their house, and it was magic. No stink whatsoever.”
Public poop shame has afflicted us all at some point in our lives — at work or a new lover’s apartment or a busy restaurant with a line outside your bathroom stall. So what do you do when you have to go but would rather not everyone know? That’s where Poo-Pourri comes in. Inspired by a product that has long been a secret weapon in Japan’s war on bathroom odors and associated noises, the Poo masterminds have developed an earth-friendly, essential oil-based, pre-pooping spray that makes unwanted olfactory evidence all but disappear. You simply pump a few sprays of the product into the toilet and, thanks to the magic of science, the surrounding area is filled with a pleasant aroma of lemon or peach or rose or jasmine, for example, while the nose curling nastiness typically associated with moving your bowels is trapped harmlessly beneath the surface of the toilet water.
Of course, the best part about Poo-Pourri — besides the hilarious names for the various scent varieties such as Extramint, Call of the Wild, and Doody Free and the company’s laugh-out-loud internet commercial as seen here — is the fact that the product really and truly works. The Stewart family, living in a one-bathroom residence, has been enjoying the benefits of the product for a couple of months now, and, if that doesn’t convince you, go check out Poo-Pourri on Amazon.com. Their product reviews get 4.8 stars out of 5, a score that is better than the iPhone and, in this day and age, I am not sure you can get a better endorsement than that.