I have never eaten Anthony Bourdain’s food, but I have digested his words, and that’s good enough for me. As a writer-and he’s that first, before a TV personality-he’s witty, wise, and perhaps even sharper than when he has a knife in his hands. His Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly (2000) introduced gonzo journalism to fine dining, both demystifying it and making it outrageously funny. If you’re a poseur, untalented chef, or Billy Joel, Bourdain will roast you-some Top Chef contestants have learned he can do this with a look as well as a well-turned phrase. If you’re Thomas Keller, the Ramones, or a humble cook in some faraway spot on the globe serving up distinctly local fare, you’ll discover Bourdain can praise, and then the words really mean something. Santa Barbara will get to discover Bourdain soon, since UCSB Arts & Lectures will present him for an evening called No Reservations (just like his Travel Channel show) on Friday, February 27, at 8 p.m. in the Arlington Theatre. Call 893-3535.