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Comments by Theguywritingthis

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Posted on August 8 at 9:55 a.m.

Wow. All this time I thought the origin of Hitler’s evil was paranoid schizophrenia, mania, narcissistic and sadistic personality disorders, a dab of OCD, combined with the daily, multiple injections of amphetamines, mixed with the awesome effects of tertiary syphilis. The thought of vegetarian restaurants as merely breeding grounds for the next Fuhrer poses a new threat not only to our great nation, but to the Food Network as a whole. What a dilemma you’ve created for Jewish vegetarians.

Fortunately, Hitler’s alleged vegetarianism is myth based on his curious definition of the word. Hitler’s vegetarian diet often included ham and sausages, (i.e., pork products), but generally excluded red meat. He considered himself a "vegetarian" simply becuase of the lack of red meat in his diet. His appetite for sausages and ham is well documented. Hitler was as much a vegetarian as Tiger Woods is monogamous.

The current situation Weiler finds herself is because she is monumentally stupid, the likely basis of which is challenged genetic material. The nexus suggested between her self-described prolific use of marijuana and the propensity to pursue a career as a get-a-way driver is as intellectually dishonest as the Hitler/vegetarian reference. You might want to think about supplementing your Fox News with a couple hits of herb. Just make sure your roommate hides the keys to your SUV.

On Accused Accessory to Murder Changes Plea

Posted on August 9 at 2:45 p.m.

If the downtown car wash wasn't open 24 hours, John Thyne wouldn't be in so much trouble. If it was only open til', say 11:00 p.m., John would be focusing his energy on developing his platform in his bid for Mayor rather than getting fitted for his new orange jumpsuit. After knocking down a couple of Vodka tonics a little before midnight, don't you just get the urge to hop in your car and head down to the all-night car wash? I know I do. There's no better time to sneak a wash in than right before midnight. If the owner of the car wash had only initiated the bar equivalent of "last call" and limited the all-night facility operating hours to 11:00 p.m., John wouldn't have been enticed to leave the safety and comfort of his seat at his favorite drinking hole to hose down his Mercedes. What better reason to get behind the wheel at 11:30 p.m. after having a couple of cocktails? Especially if you're on probation for driving under the influence and subject to a specific order prohibiting you from operating a vehicle with any measureable amount of alcohol in your system.

I understand the selfless passion and dedication you have with respect to serving our community, John. I also recognize your offer to volunteer your expertise, integrity, skill, and wisdom, in pursuit of leading our City out of the current economic crisis, in solving the gang problem that plagues Santa Barbara, and in the never ending quest to find the perfect design that will transform De La Guerra Plaza from the simple outdoor public urinal and ad hoc medicinal marijuana dispensary it has become, to the Plaza de Espa±a of the West, and I can't thank you enough. However, I'm willing to offer you a free pass, a kind of get-out-of-jail-free card so to speak, in order to release you from your selfless dedication and drive to make things better for the rest of us. You are no longer obligated to run for office or dedicate any of your free time to serving our community, other than the workdays you'll be ordered to perform as a result of insisting that Mr. Grey Goose accompany you every time you take the Mercedes out for a spin. If you've really stopped drinking, (just like you really learned your lesson after the DUI arrest and conviction a couple of years ago), you'll be spending more time at home, and less time at your downtown watering hole. Less driving, less of a need to hit the 24 hr. car wash late at night. Less of a need to hit the 24 hr. car wash in the wee hours, less likelihood of another violation of probation. So John, I really don't care if you stop drinking or not. I'd just prefer you stop driving. That way you can continue to drink yourself into a drooling stupor and the only one you're likely to injure is yourself, so long as you don't feel the urge to scamper out to your car and head downtown to the 24 hr. car wash.

On Thyne Facing DUI Probation Violation Charges

Posted on July 16 at 6:29 a.m.

Interesting how all of this works. Hollywood and his accomplices carry out a merciless and cold blooded murder, in a manner that evidenced absolutely no thought or concern for the fear and terror Nicholas Markowitz must have experienced the minute he realized he was gong to be slaughtered. The killing took only as long as it takes to empty nine rounds from a Tec-9. While Hollywood provided Markowitz no time or opportunity to present evidence or offer testimony from members of his family, friends, or acquaintances in an effort to spare his life, Hollywood's right to do so was ensured by the very authority Hollywood freely and repeatedly abused throughout the years. While a young, frightened, and alone Nicholas Markowitz was dragged into the mountains, summarily executed, and his bullet ridden body left in a shallow grave covered by a thin layer of dirt, Hollywood was afforded the full extent of Constitutional protection, not one, but two lawyers, and 12 jurors who spent an extensive period of time deliberating at the conclusion of testimony during the guilt phase. While Markowitz's fate was sealed in a matter of mere seconds, Hollywood was not only afforded the opportunity to present evidence in his fight to save his life, he was provided the careful and considered thought of 12 jurors who ultimately exercised far more compassion than Hollywood exercised when he gave Hoyt the nod to end Markowitz's life.
While Hollywood's life was spared by the jury, the idiom, "Be careful what you wish for", immediately comes to mind. Hollywood's life without the possibility of parole ensures the former Alpha Dog will maintain the canine reference while living the remainder of his life in prison, however instead of being referred to as the Alpha Dog by his new room mates, Hollywood's new moniker will simply be "Someone's Bitch".

On Jesse James Hollywood Sentenced to Life

Posted on July 15 at 10:44 p.m.

Interesting how all of this works. Hollywood and his accomplices carry out a merciless and cold blooded murder, in a manner that evidenced absolutely no thought or concern for the fear and terror Nicholas Markowitz must have experienced the minute he realized he was gong to be slaughtered. The killing took only as long as it takes to empty nine rounds from a Tec-9. While Hollywood provided Markowitz no time or opportunity to present evidence or offer testimony from members of his family, friends, or acquaintances in an effort to spare his life, Hollywood's right to do so was ensured by the very authority Hollywood freely and repeatedly abused throughout the years. While a young, frightened, and alone Nicholas Markowitz was dragged into the mountains, summarily executed, and his bullet ridden body left in a shallow grave covered by a thin layer of dirt, Hollywood was afforded the full extent of Constitutional protection, not one, but two lawyers, and 12 jurors who spent an extensive period of time deliberating at the conclusion of testimony during the guilt phase. While Markowitz's fate was sealed in a matter of mere seconds, Hollywood was not only afforded the opportunity to present evidence in his fight to save his life, he was provided the careful and considered thought of 12 jurors who ultimately exercised far more compassion than Hollywood exercised when he gave Hoyt the nod to end Markowitz's life.
While Hollywood's life was spared by the jury, the idiom, "Be careful what you wish for", immediately comes to mind. Hollywood's life without the possibility of parole ensures the former Alpha Dog will maintain the canine reference while living the remainder of his life in prison, however instead of being referred to as the Alpha Dog by his new room mates, Hollywood's new moniker will simply be "Someone's Bitch".

On Hollywood Jurors Begin Third Day of Penalty Deliberation

Posted on July 6 at 9:12 p.m.

Let me see:, during only a one month investigation, $800,000.00 worth of marijuana was involved, including 400 active plants, a "sophisticated" outdoor and indoor active marijuana gardens, etc., generated by three budding entrepreneurs, presumably working secretly in an attempt to avoid detection, and therefore at some disadvantage over, let's say your average tobacco farmer:, hmmmmm? And they're jailing these fellas? So, instead of only three, er, um:, farmers, let's say we work about 300 green thumbers into producing this interesting cash cow product, operating under the same disabilities as our prospective jailbirds. Rather than going through the trauma and expense of exporting the product to the east, (not to mention that little ole' interstate transportation issue), why not offer the product to some of our equally deserving locals? The cost reduction would increase profitability, reduce fuel emissions resulting from transportation, and likely work to reduce the staggering unemployment rate as a result of new employment opportunities that would emerge.

Furthermore, instead of wasting valuable law enforcement resources and the related millions and millions spent sneaking around trying to catch these guys, we would simply implement a change in job description from "narcotics officer", to "security guard". We've already purchased the uniforms, guns, helicopters, night vision equipment, etc. The only thing we would need to do is reveal the location of these farms to allow the former narcotics officers to take up their new positions to actually guard and protect the new, expansive, green belt that would emerge as a result of this promising venture. 300 resourceful farmers could generate enough revenue in a ten month period to put a dent in the budget deficit. 3,000 could do even better.

On the other hand, we could continue to waste valuable resources and manpower searching out active marijuana gardens only to be forced to watch the ultimate law enforcement booty literally go up in smoke. The least they could do is bus a bunch of loadies and a couple of bands up to the scene of the crime before they start the burn. While law enforcement would refer to it as destroying the crop, we could simply call it a music festival.

On Month-long Pot Probe Results in Three Arrests

Posted on June 30 at 6:35 a.m.

Mr. Hollywood is not "already in prison". He is in custody pending the outcome of the current trial. He has not been convicted of any crime. The only basis for his being held is his alleged involvement in the Markowitz kidnapping and murder. Mr. Hollywood left the area immediately after the murder and ultimately fled to Brazil where he was eventually located and returned to stand trial. His case, like the individuals previously convicted in this matter, would have been completed long ago but for his having fled. I'm pretty confident a majority of the populous would disagree with the suggestion that trying Mr. Hollywood for his involvement in the Markowitz kidnapping and murder is either a waste of time, or that the attempt to pursue the individuals who kidnapped and killed Nicholas Markowitz is of such little concern that it,"...doesn't matter", (i.e., "...DA wasting so much money and time on things that really do not seem to matter.").
While the courtroom antics of the lawyers involved may give rise to an entirely different concern that needs to be addressed, the suggestion that the pursuit of Mr. Hollywood with respect to his involvement in the Markowitz murder is somehow improper, or that it involves a waste of resources, wouldn't go over too well if the victim of this tragedy was your 15 year old son.
With respect to the writer who referenced the email he received regarding the Tea Fire, (i.e., "...the only way the truth about the Tea Fire will be known is to elect a new DA"), if you really want to witness a waste of time and valuable resources, insist on prosecuting the original 10 Tea Fire defendants with felony arson. While the calls for justice in that matter conjure up the scene from the original Frankenstein, in which the towns people storm and rush the castle in search of the Frankenstein monster, pitchforks and torches in hand, there is that little problem of causation that always seems to get in the way of a successful prosecution. Why not blame "the DA" for USA's loss to Brazil, it's as equally illogical.

On Hollywood Attorneys Continue to Clash

Posted on May 18 at 1:23 p.m.

I apologize. I hadn't really considered the level of vindictiveness and hate that permeated my opinion. You're right. The punishment should fit the crime. Perhaps he could write a letter of apology and volunteer tennis lessons at Girls Inc., unless you feel that's too draconian. Maybe suspend him for a couple of days and take away his school parking pass? I don't know what I was thinking. After all, he's just a 34 year old tennis coach having sex with one of the girls on the high school tennis team. Besides, he's the one who brought the drugs and alcohol. Shouldn't he get a rebate or something? Sorry, and thank you for straightening me out. Shucks. Before I read your comments I was convinced this guy had done something more than really blowing it, ("Im not saying the guy didn't really blow it"). I wanna' live in your land where a simple, "my bad", and shrug of the shoulders is punishment enough. By the way, let me know if you decide to get into coaching.

On Jeschke Convicted of Sex Crimes

Posted on May 18 at 10:55 a.m.

Some of the thoughts expressed within this blog are a bit disconcerting. Certainly every person has a right to their opinion and I trust individuals who share their opinions do so only after having taken as much time as is needed to carefully consider their thoughts prior to sharing them. This matter involved a high school coach and high school students. That there exists some level of indignation or discomfort as a result of the conviction is troubling. The jurors heard the evidence and convicted the high school coach of the following charges:
Sexual penetration by a foreign object with a minor
Three counts of oral copulation with a minor
Two counts of sex with a minor more than three years younger than himself
Jeschke is 34 years old. It's been at least 16 years since he graduated from high school. He held a unique position of trust, and like teachers and administrators who work in schools, he has an affirmative obligation to avoid circumstances that would allow a relationship to develop with a student. More importantly, because of his position of trust, his age, his unique relationship as athletic coach to the individuals with whom he engaged in sexual activity, as well as the age of the girls, any such relationship is intrinsically unequal. Several writers suggest some level of fault should be directed at the girls he abused, and that the coach's conduct was somehow justified because the girls are, ": not innocent victims." There is no question but that some high school students engage in behavior that goes well beyond inappropriate with respect to sexual activity, drugs and alcohol, and that it is only getting worse. That is precisely why teachers, coaches, therapists, lawyers, counselors, and other professionals who are in positions of trust with minors are obligated to avoid such relationships with their charges. Such positions of trust make it much easier to exploit and manipulate. Bottom line, 34 year old man orally copulates a minor female, or females, on three occasions. 34 year old man had sex with a minor female, or females on two occasions, and he inserted a foreign object into the vagina of a minor female for sexual arousal. Pretty black and white to me. How the prosecution of such a seriously disturbed 34 year old man who is in a unique position of trust can engender sympathy is beyond my comprehension.

On Jeschke Convicted of Sex Crimes

Posted on March 11 at 1:21 p.m.

Part Two
At the time of his sentencing hearing, Ricardo's lawyers presented the compelling testimony of an expert who theorized that the brains of teenagers are less biologically sophisticated than those of adults when it comes to making judgment calls, and cited a study showing that adolescents are considerably more apt than adults to make poor decisions around the presence of peers. Fortunately the public defender is fully funded to secure the services of such experts to provide valuable and enlightening revelations such as those summed up by the expert appearing on behalf of Ricardo. Who'd a thunk? Revolutionary! Groundbreaking! Thought provoking, and, overwhelming compelling to the point that Ricardo should never have been held responsible for killing Linares, and certainly not for planning and executing the assault on the rival gang member, with the help of his other, equally cranially challenged adolescent associates.
Of course we should encourage the expenditure of resources on getting these experts before the court in order to offer such cutting edge information because we, society, are responsible for everything poor little Ricardo has become. Shame on us.
Now let's see, we've got the latest version of this repeating scenario where a group of other unfortunate gangsters crushed the skull of a kid who stepped in to object to the behavior of yet another biologically challenged gangster, with an underdeveloped brain, who took it upon himself to sexually assault a girl at a party. How can we allow society to continue to nurture the abuse society metes out on these poor gangsters that causes them to go about maiming and killing? We need to stop prosecuting these victims of society and focus more attention and blame on the poor souls who happen to cross their miserable paths. How many of the wonderful authors who contribute their thoughts to this blog have ever actually had any contact with a gangster? Oh, that's right, in college, in a class, and on tv. Sorry, I apologize.

On Gang Murder Cases Collide in Juvenile Hall

Posted on March 11 at 1:20 p.m.

Part One
On behalf of Santa Barbara, and for that matter, all of society, I would like to offer sincerest apologies for everything society and "The Man" did to the unfortunate Ricardo Juarez that caused him to stab Luis Linares to death. In addition, I would also like to offer additional apologies for not having learned our lesson the first time and again causing poor Ricardo Juarez to engage in the gang-related assault on yet another juvenile housed at the juvenile facility awaiting his turn to be tried for yet another murder we caused.
The interesting phenomena that is repeated within our court system is the outpouring of support, as well as the substantial presence of the alleged defendant's family and friends at each of the court appearances every time one of the "gang related" cases come before the court. It is incredibly impressive. Parents, aunts, uncles, brothers, sisters, friends, etc., packing the courthouse, intensely concerned for their child/relative/friend, incredulous and angry at everyone for what has happened to their chil/relative/friend. If you haven't witnessed the scene, you really should.
Eagerly awaiting the case to be called, the throng of supporters put everything else in their otherwise busy lives aside in order to appear at each hearing and even join the forces of others who engage in picketing and protesting decisions to charge juveniles like Ricardo Juarez as adults for their brutal and merciless attacks. I'm still trying to figure out where all of the supports and protestors were while Ricardo was stabbing away at Linares. Where were they when the gang was slowly gathering in force on State Street, looking for the other gang in order to stab and kill? What instructions did the parents of Ricardo and the other gang bangers give their kids the morning of the minimum day regarding what they were supposed to be doing after school, where they were expected to go, etc? What protocol did they use to check up on their kids after school to make sure they were where they were supposed to be and to ensure they were not engaging in banging, smoking herb, drinking and tagging?
Yeah, once again, society let these poor unfortunates down, and we're doing it over and over again by insisting that they be prosecuted for their barbaric behavior. How could we do that? it's not their fault! It's our fault:, right? We've made them who they are. Society is responsible for Ricardo stabbing Linares to death.., right? And now society is responsible for poor Ricardo and his jailed gangster accomplices assault on the other rival gangster, jailed at the same facility while awaiting trial regarding yet another murder society is responsible:, right?

On Gang Murder Cases Collide in Juvenile Hall

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