The Art of the Steal

In the NBA Finals, the Golden State Warriors defeated the Boston Celtics 4 games to 2. In the NHL Finals, the Colorado Avalanche defeated the Tampa Bay Lighting by the same 4 games to 2 margin.

In both cases, Donald Trump is claiming fraud and demanding a recount. League offices have been broken into and vandalized by armed, angry, and violent Trump-inspired mobs. With his typical calm and cool detachment Trump concluded, “I don’t f…ing care that they have weapons. They’re not here to hurt me.” Only players, coaches, their families, referees, league officials and others have had their lives threatened. Trump sycophants and enablers (such as those at a Santa Barbara daily) cry that many points and goals were suspiciously “mailed in” or scored by dead people and illegal aliens. They insist these acts of violence were either normal tourist visits, misdemeanor trespassing, minor disagreements among well-meaning sports fans, peaceful and law-abiding protests that got out of hand, or a sinister plot entirely instigated by BLM, Antifa, the FBI, or by a collaboration of all of these radical left-wing saboteurs.

Trump has brilliantly assembled a “dream team” of legal scholars led by Rudy Giuliani (“We’ve got lots of theories. We just don’t have any evidence”), Sidney Powell (pleaded not guilty on the grounds that “no reasonable person” would have taken her fraud claims seriously), Lin Wood (Mike Pence should be tried for treason and executed), and John Eastman (pleaded the 5th 146 times). There can be little doubt that the results will be overturned once these cases get to courts overseen by sympathetic Trump-appointed judges. Should the cases get to the most reactionary, right-wing Supreme Court In this nation’s history, the Larry O’Brien Trophy and the Stanley Cup will rightfully be passed on to the losing teams. Sports “integrity” will be restored and America will be great once again. Hallelujah!