Bridging the Political Divide | Reclaiming Our Shared Humanity

The More We Approach Each Other with Compassion and Curiosity, the More We Can Break Down the Walls of Division

Rebecca Capps, LMFT, offers some tips for bridging the political divide. | Photo: Courtesy

“Peace cannot be kept by force; it can only be achieved by understanding.”
— Albert Einstein

Our political climate isn’t just starved of civility — it’s in desperate need of something deeper: empathy. Empathy invites us to see beyond our differences and recognize the unique set of values, beliefs, and experiences we all carry. Yet, empathy can feel nearly impossible when confronted with those who appear to threaten our fundamental rights and freedoms. In such moments, it’s human nature to go on the defensive — or even the offensive — to protect what we hold sacred. However, genuine empathy doesn’t mean condoning harmful actions. Instead, it invites us to approach others with an open heart and sense of curiosity regarding the beliefs that shape their behavior (even when doing so feels deeply challenging). It is important to note that empathy is not agreement but the willingness to understand.

Rebecca Capps, LMFT, offers some tips for bridging the political divide. | Photo: Courtesy

The current political climate in the United States is anything but united, so this willingness to approach others with empathy is more crucial now than ever. Without it, the divides in our society will only grow wider, causing meaningful dialogue and real progress to feel nearly impossible. The gap between conservatives and liberals is more pronounced than ever, leaving many feeling frustrated, exhausted, and disconnected. But if we’re being honest, we know that further polarization only fuels misunderstanding. What if, instead, we paused and embraced empathy — recognizing the shared humanity beneath the noise of hate and rhetoric?

Discovering the balance between offering empathy and protecting yourself from harm is not always easy. Empathy is a powerful tool for creating understanding, but it’s not an invitation to subject yourself to disrespect or harm. It’s essential to recognize when the person you’re engaging with is unwilling — or even unable — to offer the same openness in return. Some interactions can even escalate into destructive dynamics. For example, consider whenever someone resorts to tactics like DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim, and Offend), which is a framework often observed in abusive or manipulative relationships. DARVO can be useful for recognizing when a conversation has shifted from constructive dialogue to a harmful or manipulative dynamic.

When someone denies responsibility, attacks your perspective, and positions themselves as the victim, it can quickly undermine the possibility of meaningful dialogue. In these moments, empathy doesn’t mean excusing harmful behavior or pushing through a conversation that causes more harm than good. Instead, it can mean setting boundaries, stepping back, and acknowledging the limits of what can be achieved. Empathy thrives in reciprocity; when that’s absent, self-preservation and clarity must come first. Understanding the signs of DARVO empowers you to discern whether to continue the conversation — political or otherwise — so you can prioritize your well-being.

Recognizing patterns like DARVO illuminates why some conversations feel unproductive or even harmful. This awareness naturally leads to a broader question: How did we arrive at a point where so many interactions seem to be dominated by judgment, blame, and defensiveness?

Swiss psychologist Carl Jung developed a tool for understanding how we come to see others through the lens of our own projections. Jung taught about the shadow self — the parts of ourselves that we repress, deny, or remain unconscious. I’ve always appreciated the phrase: “Your unconscious is showing.” Your unconscious holds the hidden facets of your psyche, often revealing themselves through the projections you place onto others. For example, when you hear a specific political viewpoint and immediately feel a surge of anger or disgust, it could be about more than just the content of the message and how it challenges something within you. Maybe it stirs up fear, past hurt, or an unacknowledged belief about the world — things that often operate beneath the surface of our awareness. This is where empathy and curiosity become crucial.

Suppose we approach our political opponents (or anyone, really) with the understanding that they are simply mirrors reflecting parts of ourselves we may not like or fully understand. In that case, we begin to transform the conversation. Instead of just blaming the “other side,” we can start exploring our triggers to facilitate self-discovery because whenever we are triggered, this often signals that something within us requires further attention. Our triggers may be viewed as invitations to explore why we feel threatened, scared, or angry. This doesn’t mean we should abandon our beliefs or allow others to mistreat us, but instead, it opens the door to engaging in more respectful and constructive conversations. By doing so, we can honor both our differences and our shared humanity.

Imagine what could happen if Republicans and Democrats approached each other with empathy and curiosity instead of judgment or blame. What if we asked questions like, Tell me more about why you feel that way, or What experiences have shaped your perspective? What if we acknowledged that we’re all trying to navigate a world full of uncertainty and don’t have all the answers? What if, instead of seeing the “other side” as an enemy, we saw them as fellow travelers on this complex journey called life?

As a psychotherapist, I’ve witnessed profound shifts whenever people release the need to believe that their perspective is the only right one. Through this process of empathy, we can begin trying to understand one another better. The more we approach one another with compassion and curiosity, the more we shall break down the walls of division.

Jung also spoke about the importance of integrating our shadow self, which are the parts of us we’d prefer to ignore or reject. In our political climate, each party’s shadow lies in how they react to the other. Many political reactions are fueled by a sense of moral duty or the fear of a threat to one’s core values. Politically driven reactions are often motivated by a desire for a better world, yet unconscious biases and past experiences can shape them. Recognizing these projections is the first step in healing the rift between us.

We don’t need to agree on everything but must be willing to hear each other out. We should sit with our anger, frustration, and fear and ask ourselves, “What is this revealing about me?” Through this process of self-exploration, we can reconnect with each other — not as enemies but as neighbors who share a common desire for a more just and compassionate world.

The next time you engage with someone who holds an opposing view, take a deep breath and approach the conversation with empathy and curiosity, not judgment. This is the only way forward if we truly want to bridge our divisions. In the end, we have the power to change the narrative — one empathetic conversation at a time.

Rebecca Capps, LMFT, is the CEO of Mind-Body Thrive®. *Note: The information provided is not a substitute for professional therapy or medical advice.