All Booked | Grace and Grit

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Hello, fellow bookworms!

Have you ever had that feeling where you come across a book, movie, or other piece of art that feels like you were meant to find it at this particular point in your life? I’ve had many magical moments like that over the years, but this one left me reeling.

Without getting too personal, I’ve been caring for a family member who’s been experiencing health issues, while juggling my full-time job, my social life, my mental health, and the upkeep of two households. (Somehow, I still find time to read, but it’d take a lot more than this to stop me!)

When Deborah Samuel’s name crossed my inbox, recommended by her friend and my colleague Sarah Sinclair, with the announcement of her book, Grace Through Fire: A Memoir of Murder, Tragedy, and Resilience, I was at first just excited to read the story of a brave, tough woman who triumphed over what life threw at her, having no clue what her story entailed.

Then I started reading.

The book begins with a murder: Eighteen years ago, Deborah Samuel’s elderly mother shot and killed her husband, Deborah’s father, after enduring decades of abuse. In the wake of this shocking event, Deborah and her sister find themselves handling their mother’s years-long legal case, while Deborah also juggles her job as a PE teacher of many at-risk students and her and her wife’s project of building their dream lake house. But just as her mother’s case is resolved — probation and house arrest — disaster strikes. Susan, Deborah’s wife, takes a horrific fall from the half-built deck of their lake house, suffering a devastating spinal cord injury that causes permanent paralysis.

Deborah begins a fight for her wife’s health, raising thousands of dollars to get her from their home in Rogers, Arkansas, to a world-renowned rehabilitation hospital in Colorado. She undergoes a caretaker boot camp to learn how to tend to Susan’s new needs. And she also finds herself having to battle a disgustingly unfair policy in place at the time that a same-sex spouse cannot benefit from a public school employee’s health insurance the same way a heterosexual spouse would, and even that Deborah cannot use her paid leave time to care for her wife as she is not recognized under the school system’s policies — no matter how legitimate their marriage certificate is. 

As the years go on and Deborah is caring for both her spouse and her mother, who has developed dementia, while also managing her job, she is run ragged by the endless responsibilities, a relationship that is turning verbally abusive, and an inability to manage her stress that turns into heavy drinking and unhealthy eating. At her lowest point, Deborah grabs for the closest rope she can find that might help pull her out of the mire: an invitation to a weight-loss group. From there, yoga. Cutting out alcohol. Taking 30 days for herself to do the activities that bring her happiness. From there, the sky’s the limit. 

Deborah begins the long process of rediscovering herself: her love for the great outdoors, travel, adventure, kayaking, and feeling in touch with nature and with her body and mind. And as she reassesses the path forward that she had been building and the new one that she can see in front of her, she finds the way to make it work — for the good of everyone.

This book nearly knocked me over with the weight of it: the shocking life events, the pain that overlays whole chapters. In a way I’ve found strangely rare in memoirs, Grace Through Fire is achingly honest. But more than that, the writing carries unmistakable notes of faith, humor, and hope throughout it, and I felt myself thinking, If she got through this, I can get through what I’m going through.

When I finally had the pleasure of meeting Deborah at her book launch party over the weekend and hearing her tell her story, she gives very much the same impression in person that I got of her through her book: kind, determined, and proud of her strengths while acknowledging her weaknesses. And, in true teacher fashion, she is motivated to share her story in the hopes that others can take something from it to improve their own lives.

Deborah Samuel’s story is a reminder that life is for living, not simply surviving, and that anyone can find themselves again and turn things around. But it’s going to take grit, humor, and a whole lot of heart.

She’ll be speaking at Chaucer’s Books tomorrow, October 14, at 6 p.m. I’ll be there, and I highly recommend you be too!

—Tessa, allbooked@independent.com

FROM OUR PAGES

Here is some of our book-related coverage from the last two weeks! Read all this and more at Independent.com.

“Emily Henry Teases Her Next Romance Novel on the Arlington Theatre’s Santa Barbara Marquee” by Leslie Dinaberg

“All Aboard the Island Hopper: Prolific Surf and Travel Writer Michael Kew Returns to Santa Barbara with New Book” by Ethan Stewart

“Stories of Resilience, Strength, and Finding Courage When Faced with Catastrophe: Deborah Samuel Discusses Her New Book Grace Through Fire” by Taylor Cusimano

“First 5 Santa Barbara County to Host Dr. Maryam Kia” by Taylor Cusimano

“California Dreams with Miriam Pawel: Piecing Together the University of California’s History” by Brian Tanguay

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UPCOMING BOOK EVENTS

Below, you will find a few bookish events coming up in Santa Barbara. If you are hosting a bookish event in Santa Barbara, be sure to submit the event to our online events calendar.

Second Annual Halloween Spirits in the Air: Potent Potable Poetry
Tuesday, October 13, 5:30 p.m. | The Good Lion

Godmothers Gather: Morgan Hutchinson, Bipolar Blonde: A Dark and Delightful Story of Suicide, Soulmates, and Starting Again
Tuesday, October 13, 6 p.m. | Godmothers

Chaucer’s Author Talk and Signing: Jared Huffman, No Prophets: The Fight to Save Democracy from Christian Nationalism
Tuesday, October 13, 7 p.m. | Henley Hall, 1010 UCSB 

Romance Book Club, Die for Me by Shirlene Obuobi
Wednesday, October 14, 5:30 p.m. | S.B. Central Library

Chaucer’s Author Talk and Signing: Deborah Samuel, Grace Through Fire: A Memoir of Murder, Tragedy, and Resilience
Wednesday, October 14, 6 p.m. | Chaucer’s Books 

Godmothers Gather: Sara Hirsh Bordo & Archana Ram, Autoimmunity and the Good Girls: How Permission to Put Ourselves First Has the Power to Keep Us Well
Wednesday, October 14, 6 p.m. | Godmothers

Montecito Poetry ClubFeatured Author: Mary Oliver
Thursday, October 15, 10 a.m. | Montecito Library

Author Reading & Book Signing: Matthew Sigman, Because of a Dog
Thursday, October 15, 5 p.m. | Toad & Co.

Godmothers Gather: Miriam Pawel & Jose Alamillo, California Dreams: The Making and Remaking of the University of California
Thursday, October 15, 6 p.m. | Godmothers

Godmothers Gather: Barry Michels & Jennifer Rudolph Walsh, Ahead of All Parting: On Learning to Live with an Open Heart
Friday, October 16, 6 p.m. | Godmothers

Little G’s: Dr. Rae Wynn-Grant, You Belong in the Wild
Saturday, October 17, 11 a.m. | Godmothers

Godmothers Gather: Ellen Vora, Season of the Witch: A Psychiatrist’s Case for Magic
Saturday, October 17, 6 p.m. | Godmothers

ASL Story Time
Saturday, October 17, 3 p.m. | Grace Fisher Foundation Inclusive Arts Clubhouse

The Poetry Club
Sunday, October 18, 2 p.m. | Goleta Community Center

Chaucer’s Author Talk and Signing: Will Sofrin, USCG Cutter Eagle: The Legacy of the Coast Guard’s Flagship
Sunday, October 18, 3 p.m. | Chaucer’s Books 

“Keep Me In Suspense” Book Club: The Intrigue by Silvia Moreno-Garcia
Tuesday, October 20, 5:30 p.m. | La Playa Azul Café

Social Justice Book Club, Power Hungry: Women of the Black Panther Party and Freedom Summer and Their Fight to Feed a Movement by Suzanne Cope
Wednesday, October 21, 5 p.m. | S.B. Central Library

Godmothers Gather: Discussion with Amy Richards, An Unexpected Life, Gloria Steinem
Wednesday, October 21, 6 p.m. | Godmothers

Ojai Storytelling Festival
Thursday, October 22 – Sunday, October 25  | Ojai, Various Locations

Chaucer’s Author Talk and Signing: Daniel M. Jaffe, Russian Silhouette: A Memoir of Activism and Identity
Thursday, October 22, 6 p.m. | Chaucer’s Books 

Godmothers Gather: Dr. Laura Berman, Crying Out Loud: A Path Through Grief into a Life Reimagined
Friday, October 23, 6 p.m. | Godmothers

Off Register Book & Print Fair
Saturday, October 24, 10 a.m. | Community Arts Workshop 

Back to School Black Family Cookout & Book Fair
Saturday, October 24, 12 p.m. | S.B. Central Library 

“Well, That Escalated” Horror & Thriller Book Club: The Push by Ashley Audrain
Saturday, October 24, 1 p.m. | Hook & Press 

Godmothers Gather: Adrienne Ryser, Fleurs: Bouquets, Arrangements, and French Floral Inspirations
Friday, October 24, 6 p.m. | Godmothers

Godmothers Gather: Kerry Kennedy, Ethel Kennedy: The Extraordinary Life and Bold Legacy
Sunday, October 25, 6 p.m. | Godmothers

Chaucer’s Author Talk and Signing: Jennifer Chassman Browne, See Us, Know Us: Profiles of Disability
Monday, October 26, 6 p.m. | Chaucer’s Books

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S.B. SPOTLIGHT

We at the Independent get many books sent to us by area authors, sometimes too many! It’s practically impossible for us to read and review them all, but just because we are busy bees does not mean that they aren’t worth the attention. In an attempt to not completely drop the ball, we have compiled a list of books here that are either written by a Santa Barbara author, feature someone in our community, or have another tie to Santa Barbara.

If you are a local author and would like us to feature your book in this section, please email allbooked@independent.com with the subject line “S.B. Spotlight.”

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Book Reviews Courtesy of CALIFORNIA REVIEW OF BOOKS*

Thanks to the generous contributions of David Starkey, Brian Tanguay and their team of reviewers at California Review of Books, we are able to provide a steady stream of book reviews via our content partnership. Recent reviews at Independent.com include: 

Please Don’t Touch the Body by Emily Doyle; review by Brian Tanguay

Comedy Nerd: A Lifelong Obsession in Stories and Pictures by Judd Apatow & The Uncool: A Memoir by Cameron Crowe; review by George Yatchisin

*At the present time, all of the Independent’s book reviews are provided in collaboration with California Review of Books (calirb.com).