As the mother of a brain injured son, I was absolutely shocked and angered by the comments reported from Mari Mender, calling those who burned her signs “brain damaged.” The most shocking thing is that she is a nurse, and on the board of Jodi House, a place which takes place of people who have suffered a brain injury. How can she make this kind of comment, which shows no knowledge of or compassion for the people she is supposed to serve?
I believe she owes people with brain injuries, and all of us who care for and love them, a public apology for her thoughtless comment. The board of Jodi House should also think about whether it’s appropriate for her to continue serving on it.—Dominique Smith, S.B.
Comments
I am sorry that your son is "brain injured" but, your comments are just another example of America becoming too politically correct. Why are we becoming so soft and sensitive? Mender owes nobody an apology.
whatever2 (anonymous profile)
October 21, 2010 at 8:16 a.m. (Suggest removal)
It was definitely thoughtless and insensitive for Mender to say that, particularly given her position at Jodi House. While I can agree with part of the comment by "whatever2" - we are becoming very "soft and sensitive", and not in a good way - I disagree with the rest. Mender does indeed owe an apology. If she was not involved with Jodi House, it would not be as much of an issue.
MichelleR (anonymous profile)
October 21, 2010 at 8:30 a.m. (Suggest removal)
OK so "brain damaged" is out.
Maybe call them idiots. But wait, that term means "mentally deficient person". So that is "bad" also. How about: addlehead, blockhead, bonehead, deadhead, dimwit, dodo, dope, dummy, dunderhead, nincompoop, ninny, nitwit, numbskull, stupidhead, thickhead, or twit? I guess those are all "bad" also.
OK so they must be good kids!
Being politically correct just makes me feel all warm and gooey inside . . .
osotoh (anonymous profile)
October 21, 2010 at 11:20 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Mari Mender owes humanity an apology and should be stripped of her license. Imagine any patient going into Cottage and seeing her; after seeing her rant and rave in the media? I definitely am putting my donation to Jodhi House on hold as long as she is on their board.
EZK (anonymous profile)
October 21, 2010 at 11:33 a.m. (Suggest removal)
I too sometimes tire of the over-politically correct climate we live in today.
However, as the sister of a brain-injured brother (a married father of three), I see first-hand how hard this man works every *single* day to accomplish stuff the rest of us take for granted. A comment like that from somebody who is supposed to be your advocate is devastating.
Can you imagine a board member of the Alpha Resourse Center calling someone retarded? A board member of the Pacific Pride Foundation calling someone a faggot? A board member of the Rape Crisis Center calling someone a whore?
It's THE express responsibility of those board members to be advocates, to be ambassadors and to teach the community about those they vow to help and protect.
bythesea (anonymous profile)
October 21, 2010 at 11:55 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Ms. Mender was obviously very upset when she made this statement. She misspoke. It is ridiculous to judge someone based on a single comment made after someone had set fire to the signs in her yard! Since Ms Mender is volunteer - giving of her time and money to Jodi House, she obviously cares about helping people with brain injuries. Perhaps those who are so irate about this comment, should channel their energy into something positive like helping a local charity, as Ms. Mender does. And all of us should hope we are not so unfortunate as to have the press present when we make a misstep. Oh, and EZK - it's "Jodi House" not "Jodhi House" - I hope you didn't spell their name wrong on all those donations you make to them...
Nicowill (anonymous profile)
October 21, 2010 at 11:57 a.m. (Suggest removal)
If Ms. Mender did not want the press present, perhaps she should not have called a press conference when filing her complaint. Or did they just magically appear? And if she is in no way responsible for the press conference (over a singed political sign? Really?), perhaps she should not have agreed to be part of it if she was so very shaken up.
MichelleR (anonymous profile)
October 21, 2010 at 12:45 p.m. (Suggest removal)
The press misquoted Mender, not that it matters to anyone here busily damning her. But that's Santa Barbara for you.
downtownres (anonymous profile)
October 21, 2010 at 4:52 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Those of you who would vilify Ms. Mender would be well served to research the facts before speaking ill of a wonderful and caring nurse and friend.
Further, that the Independent or any other paper would allow slander against a private individual is beyond low. The editors owe her an apology.
SBVoter1 (anonymous profile)
October 21, 2010 at 9:06 p.m. (Suggest removal)
LOL. Another hyperventilating Santa Barbara slap fight. Don't you people have anything else to do?
Pinatubo (anonymous profile)
October 21, 2010 at 11:50 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Emily Post never talked like Dominique Smith. Ms Smith could have simply said she was "disappointed," like Vito Corleone. The presentation became the message, as in Ms Mender's press conference. Hmmm.......
BTW, I worked at Hillside House as a lad, and was gob-smacked at how determined almost all residents were to do as much for themselves as they could, and allow an assist only when they absolutely could not get any further by their own strenuous efforts. Hmmm.......
Adonis_Tate (anonymous profile)
October 22, 2010 at 9 a.m. (Suggest removal)
Sometimes you can be explosive yourself Pinatubo.
sixdolphins (anonymous profile)
October 23, 2010 at 2:05 a.m. (Suggest removal)
It's in my nature. Either that or I ate too much Super Rica.
Pinatubo (anonymous profile)
October 25, 2010 at 5:18 p.m. (Suggest removal)
Wolverine, I don't use pot. What does that have to do with the woman's poor choice of words?
MichelleR (anonymous profile)
November 6, 2010 at 2:10 p.m. (Suggest removal)