From Heartbreak to Wholeheartedness

Imagining a Better World Together

Our writer explores positive steps to deal with "Broken Heart Syndrome" | Photo: Courtesy

I was immersed in my daily ritual on the elliptical machine at my nearby YMCA when I suddenly felt a sharp pain in my chest. It occurred just seconds after I heard an announcement from BBC World News that there was a total suspension of aid for hungry, thirsty, injured, and sick women and children in Gaza (UNRWA). I gasped for air, felt faint and weak, and had to immediately lie down. A visit to the emergency room assured me that I did not have a heart attack. The doctor suggested I probably had what is colloquially called “broken heart syndrome” or stress (takotsubo) cardiomyopathy. This syndrome can be seen in people who have suffered from emotional upset, such as after a significant loss or when going through fear, grief, or sorrow. Pre-existing conditions, such as childhood or transgenerational trauma, can make one more susceptible to this response to life’s upsets and catastrophes.

In my case, I experienced deep distress during my childhood in a war-torn family in post-war Germany. Both of my parents had suffered severe trauma. The Nazis imprisoned my grandfather for speaking out. Therefore, I have lived my entire life with the dread of war and fascism. Now, it seems my heart has reacted to the intensity of fear and distress that resurfaced in response to recent political events.

In the ER, I wondered how mounting news about the current unfolding of carelessness and insensitivity in our country and world might affect all of us. Stories of people losing jobs, the threat of dissolving social security and health care, the specter of losing our individual freedoms — all of these conditions foster stress and despair and may cause deep-seated fear to intrude into our shared psyche, breaking our hearts, bit by bit.

I see myself as a canary in the coal mine. My body easily picks up world suffering, and at the same time, I am aware that innumerable others are affected just as I am. Has the palpable pain of what is going on sent us reeling into shock? Are we crushed on the floor, frozen and despondent? Are our tender hearts simply turning into stone to protect us from the brutal actions of the world at large? Are we suffering collective “Broken Heart Syndrome?”

I see what is happening in our government now as an overt display of thoughtlessness and selfishness. There is a mood of retribution and payback. I feel so disheartened, filled with distress and deep dismay, when I witness the cold-heartedness of so-called leaders inflicting pain on perceived enemies or “designated” unwanted people. Protection for those who are old, have disabilities, or for minority cultures has been abandoned. We are growing a dysfunctional culture, where the perceived rich and the powerful tower over the perceived “others,” leaving so many behind.

How do we respond to this invasion of cruelty? Hearts do not thrive in this kind of landscape. They may shrivel up; they may turn to stone, or they may break. As I identify three blatant areas of radical and dangerous upset in this current administration, I reel in overwhelm and fear. First, democracy and the rule of law are giving way to authoritarianism. Second, policies and, with that, infrastructures are being changed or abolished boldly and, at times, recklessly, with great speed. Third, those in charge are upending fundamental human values such as empathy, decency, tolerance, mercy, and caring for those with less. But deep down, people want unity. They want a culture where we and our neighbors are taken care of. Most of us are not callous. The good news about a broken heart is that the symptoms are temporary. Our personal and collective hearts will be restored to health.

What I have found helpful is both an inner and outer healing practice which I believe can lead us to becoming wholehearted again, in ourselves and in the world. For inner practice, we begin by first nourishing our own broken hearts. This approach helps us find more spaciousness and air to breathe, and room to heal. My 45-year-old meditation practice allows me to pave pathways to rest in a deeper “groundless” ground, beyond and beneath the world of human confusion and pain. This is not an escape from, but an energetic place to go, a place of awareness and warmth, available right here, right now.

When resting in this deeper ground, I am gently present with my fears and sorrows and my stress can slowly dissolve. From this perspective, which meditation teacher John Makransky calls the “Field of Care,” we can allow our vulnerable feelings of anxiety, dread, and grief to come to the surface and be welcomed. We can feel and touch our tender hearts, and then those tightly held feelings can untangle and ease back into the ground of becoming, beyond our personal and our shared pain, back into the world again. (Meditations: mindfulheartprograms.org, sustainablecompassion.org)

Some of us feel called to go into the streets to reclaim our humanity. But instead of rallying against what we detest, we can exclaim what we need and want to reclaim — kindness and empathy, dignity, and care. All humans deserve a healthy life of respect and compassion. Let us join Martin Luther King Jr. and imagine and fight for a better world together. It is easier to say “No” than “Yes.” But now let us say “Yes” and speak out about what is life-giving. Our signs can demand “Compassion,” “Respect,” “Dignity,” “Education and Healthcare for All,” and “Love our Neighbor as Ourselves.” That is how we can collectively heal.

Social and environmental activist and Buddhist scholar Joanna Macy said, “Social activism is every act we do for more than our self-interest.” Acts of service, even the smallest ones, allow us to feel courageous, strong, and connected. May the heartbreak we are experiencing right now inform and inspire us to discern what we truly want to create in this world and may this force us to affirm our value of wholehearted goodness and human dignity. Let’s begin there.

Radhule Weininger, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist in private practice and a founder of the nonprofit Mindful Heart Programs. She has been a student and teacher of mindfulness, compassion, and non-dual awareness practices since 1981. See mindfulheartprograms.org, and radhuleweiningerphd.com.