Q: My mother is an elderly widow who lives in a beautiful Santa Barbara home. She has become friends with a man she met at church who is much younger than her. They are not romantically involved, but what concerns me is how he has quickly integrated himself into her life. Should I be worried about this relationship?
A: Your mother’s situation is probably innocuous, but it helps to have relatives or friends who are looking after an elder’s interests and monitoring these situations. Our elderly relatives and parents can be so vulnerable, and there are many examples of seniors being taken advantage of.
One wealthy Santa Barbara man had a platonic younger male roommate for many years. His local children weren’t worried and even appreciated the help. He took the roommate on many vacations, paid for all his expenses, and things appeared to be stable. As the older man aged and dementia began to set in, the children became concerned about the relationship and asked the roommate to move out. He refused unless the children paid him $40,000. He played on the fact that their father now felt the roommate was indispensable in his life. They paid the money and he left. The children heaved a sigh of relief and made sure their father stayed safe and protected. This situation had a relatively good resolution. Many do not.
A tragic story in recent Santa Barbara history is that of Violet Alberts, 96, who was murdered in her Montecito home in May 2022. Ms. Alberts owned a gorgeous home on more than three acres with ocean views. She was well-known and loved in the community. Unfortunately, she had run out of money to live on, but she was the perfect candidate for a reverse mortgage. She had millions in equity on her paid-off home, and the solution seemed simple. There are many legitimate reverse mortgage lenders in Santa Barbara, but through a referral in 2020, Ms. Alberts was introduced to the Los Angeles con artist and fraudster Pauline Macareno.
Macareno represented that she was going to secure Ms. Alberts the money she needed. What she actually did was have her sign a grant deed and transfer the home’s title over to herself. The alert county recorder’s office smelled a rat and refused to record Macareno’s transfer of title. Undeterred and resourceful, Macareno then had Ms. Alberts put her property into an LLC in both of their names. The transfer into the LLC meant that when Ms. Alberts died, Macareno would automatically inherit the property. Chances are that this recorded LLC transfer would have succeeded.
However, when Ms. Alberts died in 2022, the sheriff and the district attorney’s office recognized that she had been murdered. They were stumped as to why anyone would murder Ms. Alberts. She was a sweet old lady who everyone had cared for.
It was only after Ms. Alberts’ murder that Macareno’s deception was uncovered. She was arrested and convicted of elder abuse and fraud. She is currently serving six years in state prison. Now the DA investigators had something to work on. On March 7, 2024, after 22 months of investigative work, mastermind Pauline Macareno and the murder-for-hire crew were arrested. As Sheriff Brown said, “In the eyes of Macareno, Ms. Alberts was living too long.” The suspects are still in jail pending the murder investigation.
This is an extreme and sad example of how our elders are at risk for scammers. You are correct in worrying about your mother. Keep an eye on the situation, and make sure the new friend is not involved in your mother’s finances.
Marsha Gray has worked in Santa Barbara real estate for more than 25 years. She has expanded her knowledge into all aspects of the real estate market. At Allyn & Associates, she serves her clients’ real estate and finance needs. To read more of Marsha’s Q&A articles, visit marshagraysbhomes.com. Contact Marsha at (805) 252-7093 or marshagraysb@gmail.com. DRE# 012102130; NMLS #1982164.
