Hank Williams Jr. at the Chumash

I’ve been a sucker for music merchandise ever since I walked
away from my first concert in one of those Rolling Stones lips and
tongue T-shirts. So when I heard that Hank Williams Jr. was coming
to the Chumash Casino on Friday, August 4, it wasn’t just the
chance to hear the man’s music that got me excited, it was the
allure of his merchandise.

The beauty of Little Hank is that he knows his demographic. In
addition to the standard fare, the Hank Williams Jr. merch booth
boasts BBQ sauces for every occasion. Feel like going hog wild?
Fancy putting a tear in your beer? Hank Jr.’s got you covered. And
when you’re basting up a beast with one of his numerous sauces, why
not complete the picture by strapping on a Hank Jr. bandana while
you down a shot of bourbon from one of his “Women I’ve Never Had”
shot glasses? Junior even has his own cinnamon mints to freshen
things up afterwards.

If culinary fineries aren’t your thing, then maybe you should
browse his impressive range of decorations. Perhaps you’re looking
for a car tag for the front of that new truck? Then you can’t go
past his “Lone Wolf” plate that bares the image of a wolf along
with a couple of pistols. If you’re a real fan of guns—and let’s
face it, what self respecting Hank Jr. fan isn’t?—then the Hank Jr.
gun rack should be fixed firmly in your sights. My only
disappointment with this item lies in the fact that it only holds
one gun.

And when Hank III rolls his wares into Ventura’s Majestic
Theatre later this month on August 28, bet your Hank Jr. suspenders
that I will be there also. I can’t wait to see where the family
destiny is heading.

—Brett Leigh Dicks


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