His Super Ex-Girlfriend And Other Deal-Breakers

Spilled Drinks at Barfly and Threesome Requests Mean Back to the Biker

Okay, so I won’t sugar-coat. My L.A. outing this weekend sucked balls!

Not because it’s L.A. and not S.B. And not because I didn’t expect about 50 lame come-ons from drunk guys. After all a bar is a bar is a bar.

My inability to just let loose and have a good time had more to do with how Barfly was so over-crowded that one could hardly breathe. After only 20 minutes in the place, two guys had spilled their drinks on me and a girl, whom I’d never seen before in my life, had inquired about whether I’d be interested in joining her and her boyfriend for a threesome! I was speechless. Like, if I ever wanted a menage a trois — which I don’t — I’m pretty sure I’d go with someone I knew, and not just some random couple from a nightclub. So, after double-checking with my GF’s that my attire (Banana Rep top, Diesel jeans, and flat Guess shoes) could in no way be blamed for triggering that sort of proposal, all I could think was, “Only in LA!”

We did stick around for a bit to properly celebrate Dana’s amazing marathon last week, but it was definitely not my night. Chop it up to lack of sleep, PMS, no sex:whatever. By midnight, I just wanted to get the hell out of Dodge. So much for number-closing on some sharp-looking industry-execs, but there’ll be other opportunities. I promise.

Things are going surprisingly well with The Biker and I didn’t hesitate to send him a “where are you?” drunk text when things went sour in the L.A. nightlife. Lucky for me he was home, and more than happy to indulge in a late-night smooch-session when I got back.

He’s growing on me and I find it so easy to be around him, which makes me ponder a blog comment where Angie Baby suggests that wanting to eat your cake and have it too is not constructive when you already found “the perfect date.” On one hand, I agree as I’m infatuated with the guy and have an almost irrational fear that he’ll somehow find out about this blog! On the other hand, I don’t see anything wrong with taking things slow, and I might even scare him off if I become too aggressive. After all, same rules apply to both teams, and whereas I’m not jazzed about the thought of him dating other girls, I know it’s a possibility. Don’t ask don’t tell, as they say!

There’s also still the thing about his “super-ex-girlfriend.” At the risk of sounding like a broken record, this continues to bother the sh*t out of me. Apparently, she’s smart and fit, an amazing cook, and a gifted artist. Her career is skyrocketing, and there’s nothing this chick can’t do with one eye closed and both arms tied on her back!

The Biker did state irreconcilable differences (like her being overly possessive) as a reason for their break-up, but they still hang out and he talks about her ALL the time. I’m having trouble deciding if this is a deal-breaker? Plus, it’s really hard for me to ask a guy I’ve just started dating to zip it and hex the ex-files.

Dana is facing another deal-breaker and contemplating breaking things off with Thomas, the Speed-Dating Doctor, who seem to have exaggerated a tad when describing his athletic prowess! Dana is an avid tri-athlete, who spends nearly every weekend trying to break her own and everyone else’s record on the bike. She thrives on challenge and adrenalin, and considers it a life-style choice that her significant other would have to share in order for them to connect optimally.

While it may seem harsh to some, I get her point because there really isn’t much time to spare once you’re done with your weekend-workout late Sunday afternoon. Whereas I do quite a bit of biking and running too, I wouldn’t consider it a deal-breaker if my boyfriend’s favorite sport was sex-ercise, and he’d rather watch Wimbledon from the comfort of his couch than be smashing away at the Y. No problemo.

Still, I’d appreciate it if he didn’t have a beer-belly, and were able to walk up the stairs to my apartment without sounding like a rhino with a heart-condition. I guess what constitutes a deal-breaker varies highly depending on who you ask and in these Glamour comments, it appears that anything from being a bad driver to getting too liquored up on a date can scare your partner off.

What’s a deal-breaker to you? Would you put up with a “super-ex-girlfriend”? A live-in sister? So-so hygiene? What about 100+ travel days a year?

Post a comment or email dating@independent.com and let me know what’s merely a turn-off, and what would instantly make you run for the hills:

Thanks, and ciao for now!



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