Near Naked Ambush at the Gym

Is The Biker's Super Ex Stalking Chassy?

Thanks so much to those of you who emailed me and commented with your blind date disaster stories! It was highly entertaining, and certainly made me feel like a lot less of a failure in the first-date-department. Also, I was excited to see that a (hot!) real-live relationship expert has popped up and offered to share some advice on how to succeed in the dating game. Ryan Keyes-Mathews, who runs, promises to give us “the real truth from an ex-Bad boy.” I say let’s take advantage! Did I mention that Ryan is totally hot? Check out his website, and you’ll see what I mean.

A few of you have contacted me to ask what will happen to this blog in case things get serious

with The Biker.I have to say that I don’t regard seeing someone semi-seriously and writing a dating blog as being mutually exclusive, and c’mon folks. You can’t expect me to sidestep relationships and cultivate flings. Forever. Can ya?

Right now, I try not to worry too much about where things are headed. He’ll be leaving for Europe soon anyway, which leaves me “home alone” to engage in all kinds of mischief. Not that I can’t be a good girl. I absolutely can. I just don’t think that two months into dating someone, to whom you haven’t yet pledged exclusivity, is the overall best time to join a convent.

Sure, I am taken with The Biker and he’s managed to melt my defenses to a point where, instead of a Russian-type army, there’s now only a picket-fence small enough for a 4-year-old to climb. However, there’s still a super-ex-GF lurking around, or maybe not lurking as much as stalking.

On Thursday, when I was finishing up at the gym after a killer-workout, I stood in the ladies locker room in nothing but my birthday suit, when this woman suddenly appeared out of nowhere and started talking to me:

Buff-looking Asian Woman: I saw you (bike) riding this weekend

Chassy: Oh, do you ride too?

Buff-looking Asian Woman: (Ignoring question) Who do you ride with?

Chassy: Uhm: different people, I’m a member of X cycling club. Who do you ride with?

Buff-looking Asian Woman: (Ignoring question again) So, are you dating any of the guys from the club?

Chassy: (Now slightly uncomfortable, trying to make miniature towel cover as much of 5’10 body as possible) Not really, look I better hit the shower. Nice talking to you!

And she was gone just as quickly as she appeared. No hello, goodbye, or introduction and she never answered a single one of my questions. This didn’t strike me as odd till I was standing in the shower rerunning in my head what seemed to have been a very one-sided conversation. It occurred to me that not only was it too weird for words how she’d tried to give me the third degree, while I was in the nude.

She’d also insisted that she recognized me from cycling, even though it’s virtually impossible to tell who’s who when climbing it out in the mountains. Personally, I wouldn’t be able to recognize my best friend when all geared up and on the bike!

I went home and called The Biker and surprise! He’d meant to tell me that his super psycho ex works out at my gym and has super stalker tendencies. Also, she’s been “asking friends” about me ever since she spotted the two of us together at Indochine one drunken Friday!

Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, as they say, but this may be a bit too close for my liking. How in the name of all that’s holy could he forget to tell me that she’s a member of my gym? I already know, of course, that he didn’t forget, he simply made a what-she-doesn’t-know-won’t-hurt-her decision.

Well, guess what? I’m hurt now (at least my dignity is), and in the future I’ll be extremely guarded when I go to the gym. Who knows what’s next, being locked in the sauna, or maybe “balled to death” on the racquet ball court!

On a more uplifting note, Dana and I went into LA to watch the LA Circuit Race ( on Sunday, and here’s a newsflash: Men in spandex rock! There were hot sweaty bikers everywhere we looked. Shaved legs and toned torsos. Thrilling!

We came with some friends, but since The Biker stayed in SB, I was free to flirt away. When scanning the area for potential suitors, I immediately got quite a bit of attention from a couple of riders, and one of them; Jason, seemed especially keen to get to know me and proposed we go riding together soon. I hesitated to give out my number, because even if I’m not technically in a relationship, hooking up with someone The Biker might know would constitute a major faux pas.

The problem is that The Biker is hot stuff in those circles. He used to race pro in Italy, and knows nearly everyone in the cycling community. Jason is also in the top of his group, although not as accomplished as The Biker.

So, how do I find out if they actually know each other? Do guys talk, or is anything fair game as long as you’re not in a relationship? I’m having some trouble deciphering the male code-of-honor here, along with whether or not I am playing with fire. If I go out with Jason and The Biker finds out, am I forever doomed?

Ryan, or anyone, some advice on this one, PLEASE?

Thanks and see you next week!



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