People Need Not Apply

If corporations are people, then they should be held to some standard of human behavior. Corporations profit from selling things, ideas, and services to us all. Clearly these “people” should provide some semblance of that ancient social practice … customer service. Here is what I experienced. I am sure you have been there.

I purchased a refrigerator online, after examining the actual item in the store. How contemporary of me, how effortless, how facile. At this point the ease ended. Three weeks, three stores, three brands, three delivery companies later, I had a working refrigerator. The old one died immediately when I painted it “radiant orchid.” Go figure. The first and second new appliances failed to cool. Once I purchased online, no person was available. Once or twice I connected with a human voice, only to meet with the most unhelpful, unprofessional cyborgs, each with a scripted, tedious response, unable to solve a messy human problem. And I cannot begin to tell you about the deliveries … all five … three deliveries to the house and two refrigerator removals. Not one was on time or even within days of the scheduled time.

So now these corporations are in charge of birth control, have special tax brackets, can buy elections, and have limited, if any, liability for wrongs committed. And they can’t even deliver a refrigerator. I am glad I’m old.