TUCK SAID IT: No, Hillary Clinton didn’t say that after her bitter loss to Donald Trump last week. But political prankster Dick Tuck did after the former UCSB student lost his 1966 California Senate race.
But over the years, how many losing presidential candidates must have thought it? Especially the ones who won the popular vote but lost in the nightmare of the Electoral College — such as Hillary Clinton, according to the latest count, along with Al Gore. And going back to the 19th century, there’s Andrew Jackson, Samuel Tilden (who he?), and Grover Cleveland (not to be confused with Grover Cleveland Alexander, former pitcher for the Chicago Cubs, St. Louis Cardinals, and Philadelphia Phillies).
So what’s going to happen when Mr. Trump goes to Washington? Well, he also predicted in a zillion campaign speeches how he plans to strike fear (or spread joy) in millions of hearts.
But, I’m reliably assured by the same experts who called Clinton a shoo-in that he will not blow up the world right away. But it will look like a very different world in ways few can make out.
Here are things to come — horrifying to many, cheered by others.
ADIOS, ROE V. WADE: Trump gets to fill the U.S. Supreme Court vacancy resulting from the death of Antonin Scalia, and future vacancies. Three justices are 78 or older. GOP eyes are on Ruth Bader Ginsburg, 83, hoping to read about her retirement or obit in the Washington Post. The Roe-Wade abortion ruling has been hanging by a thread for years.
Trump’s conservative appointment will have no trouble getting through the GOP-majority Senate.
FRACK YOU! Trump has made it clear that he’ll go gung-ho for Big Oil and Big Coal, even if they have to pump a gazillion gallons of toxic waste into the aquifers to get the goo.
RACISM: Now that Trump’s off the campaign trail, will he lighten up on the anti-Latino racism? What’s to be gained?
HANG THE POLLSTERS? Hell, yes, they were all (almost all) wrong. I believed them, everyone (almost) believed them — even campaigns. Where they went wrong will be determined by the post-election autopsies. For weeks and weeks, the USC/L.A. Times poll was the laughingstock of the smarties. It consistently found that Trump was ahead. It was alone out there. But right. It saw a wave of Trump support that others missed.
THE WAVE: But according to CNN green-eyeshade people, Clinton lost because too many of her people stayed home while the fired-up GOP hit the polling places. Lots of lessons to be learned here. Lots of finger-pointing going on.
REIGN OF TERROR? So one political party will run the executive branch, Congress, and the Supreme Court. No deadlock there, but what will come so easily?
ADIOS, OBAMACARE: Under one-party rule, Trump and the GOP plan to give it fatal surgery, meaning that an estimated 22 million people would lose their health insurance.
ADIOS, UNDOCUMENTED PEOPLE: If Trump has his wish, get ready for the dreaded knock at the door. He wants you to move south of the border. Evicting an estimated 11 million people from their homes is not only unprecedented in this country, but here’s a guy who got elected by millions of voters who apparently found it a great idea. Strange times, and it’s hard to believe it could happen here.
THE WALL: At this writing, Trump hasn’t given up on his — you choose the words: freaky, won’t happen, stupid, keep-’em-out, racist, zillion-dollar — wall that he’s never going to get the Mexicans to pay for, but I guess his voters loved it.
PLANNED (SOB!) PARENTHOOD: Keep holding your annual book sale.
LATINO POWER: Congratulations to Salud (means health) Carbajal, the first Latino ever elected to Congress from S.B. County. The times really are a-changin’. Sweet, smart Lois Capps is being replaced in the House by a fellow Democrat, a big, burly guy who loves to schmooze and talk it up. The House is still dominated by the Republicans, but they’re going to hear it from Salud, a guy who’s good at making friends across the aisle. He’d better be. He’s a former Marine, but this is going to be tough duty.
PUTIN GETS THE LINCOLN BEDROOM: The new prez is palsy-walsy with the Kremlin dictator.
MOUNTIES ON PATROL: There’s a running joke in Canada about Mounties riding moose and hunting for “illegal Americans” crossing the border, fleeing Trump’s Brave New World.