Sometimes, it’s okay to be selfish. That was the overarching message of the night at Godmothers’s celebration of Kerry Docherty’s launch of her book Selfish: Unlearning, Reclaiming, and Telling the Truth on April 26. The event featured a reading and Q&A with the author, along with actress Jordana Brewster and the founder of the Brooklyn Writers Collective, Molly Rosen.
Docherty is the co-founder of the public-facing lifestyle clothing brand, Faherty. However, Docherty has more to her story since she recently launched her revealing memoir, Selfish. The women who accompanied her at Godmothers in Summerland all bonded through Rosen’s creative writing classes. Rosen led the questions of both her students, Docherty and Brewster.
The memoir was formed through Molly’s creative writing class during COVID, said Docherty. It began with the idea of people pleasing, she said. “At some point, it stopped working for me.” She began to reflect on her experiences as a growing human self through this writing process. However, she said, “The act of writing this book is the most selfish thing I have ever done.” Docherty also explained that the creation of the memoir hurt those around her, but it was important to her to be truthful and share her experiences with those who might relate. She explained that during the writing process, she often asked, “What am I not saying that needs to be said?”
Docherty’s memoir focuses on reflecting on catering to others’ needs, such as within her family and business, and learning to reclaim space for herself. The memoir discusses this balance and how that tension affected her relationships. The narrative is vulnerable, messy, and true to life, much like a journey of self-discovery as a mother, business mogul, and, separately, a creative.
Although the discussion was centered around Docherty’s memoir, Brewster also spoke about her global perspectives as a mother, writer, and actress. She explained to Rosen that there were times when she felt like she couldn’t be truthful in acting and in her previous marriage. She felt as if she was “selling something that’s not true to her audience.” Through her life experiences, she has learned that honesty is the most authentic and healthy representation of oneself.
Both Brewster and Docherty concluded that motherhood isn’t perfect, and the aim for perfection in your personal and public-facing lives is harmful to oneself. Owning one’s own messiness can make others feel much less alone as well, and that was shown in the Q&A portion, where the audience related to their struggles and resilience. Rosen said, “Shame cannot exist within a nest of empathy.” Docherty concluded that her “dream is coming true” through the launch of this book. Selfish is about filling your cup, finding time to take care of yourself, and fulfilling your needs as a woman outside of other people’s expectations. These women show that reframing your perspective and putting on a lens of understanding onto yourself as well as those around you is the ultimate act of empathy.
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