HEY! & HUH?: You pass something enough times, you stop seeing it. Even 108-acre golf courses. Apparently, it’s part of the human condition, obliviousness being a critical survival skill. Or as the Zen alcoholics like to say, “Only don’t know.” Then, invariably one day, we look up and see what’s been right in front of our face. As if for the very first time.
“Hey!” we shout in astonishment.
To which I reply, “Huh?”
Technically, “hey” and “huh” do not qualify as words. They are classified instead as interjections. Either way, they have perch in pretty much every language on the planet. They express boundless surprise, wonder, and mystification. In my book, that qualifies them as one-syllable prayers, welcome to believers and non-believers alike.
At least that’s how I experienced it the other day while riding along Las Positas Road past the Municipal Golf Course, affectionately known as Muni. Naturally, I had to go ruin things by having a revelation. The word “housing!” exploded in my mind. Naturally, I thought I was a genius. I nearly fell over.
Hard not to look at that unnaturally beautiful ocean of sprawling green and not think of all the housing units that could be built there — truly affordable housing. yes, there are golfers there as we speak, inconveniently enjoying the escape and tranquility that Muni has been offering — and at affordable rates — since 1956. And their numbers, I am told, are increasing at an almost daily rate.
Here’s the deal: City Hall owns this land outright. It’s owned it for at least 70 years. With such prehistorically low land costs — and so much land involved — City Hall could ensure that any developer it partnered with would build truly affordable housing.
Not the usual “affordable-lite.”
And not the meager crumbs — a unit here and a unit there — we have grown accustomed to accepting via the city’s admittedly well intentioned — and undeniably hard fought — inclusionary housing program.
No, at the Muni Golf Course, we could be talking about capital “A” affordable housing. And in numbers that might actually move the needle when it comes to the invisible hand of supply and demand. Imagine if City Hall were to partner with the Housing Authority — a nonprofit enterprises with a track record of success. We’re talking a Fort Knox of potential affordability.
Naturally, something this amazingly obvious has to be impossible.
How inconvenient.
OK, here’s the rub. Earlier this year — in April — the council adopted one of those big plans nobody reads detailing how we will respond when sea level rises. In that plan, City Hall has set aside the Municipal Golf Course. Should sea-level rise get to a certain point and the wastewater treatment plant needs to be relocated, Muni is a possible receptor site.
I know some of you are convinced sea level rise is a hoax, as is climate change. But just because something’s a hoax doesn’t mean it’s not happening. If, in 25 years or so, our sea level has increased by .8 to 2.5 feet, that’s when we start getting seriously serious. Nothing, after all, is more basic than when your wastewater treatment plant is rendered inoperable. That is the Maginot Line of Western Civilization.
By the way, they no longer call them “wastewater plants.”
If and when sea level rise hits that mark, the thinking is we will have another 50 years before the impacts become unbearable. All this, of course, seems an infinity away. But given the magnitude of the problem, it’s handy to have an ace or two up our sleeves. City Hall reckons it will need 12 acres somewhere else to relocate the treatment plant. That would be the Muni course. This will cost somewhere between $550 and $850 million.
This might seem like kind of like a deal killer. But have faith. If the sea does rise up in revolt against the violent stupidity of the human species, it’s contemplated that other local governments might want to pool our poop — giving new meaning the popular expression “get your shit together” — and create a brand new one-world wastewater treatment plant. Imagine the naming rights! That alone should cover the costs. But this eventuality, I was informed, may or may not involve the Muni Golf Course.
That uncertainty leaves my brilliant idea, at least for the moment, still on life support.
The other problem, of course, are the golfers themselves. They rule the world. Or at least think they do, which is often the same thing. Among the nine courses on the south coast, Muni is a bargain. It’s worth noting that the construction of the Muni course back in 1956 stands as a true historic milestone, signifying for the first time that Santa Barbara had a middle class big enough and viable enough to warrant such an extravagant gesture of governmental largesse. Before then, golf was for rich people and rich people had their rich people golf clubs in which to swing.
But with the invention of UCSB and Lake Cachuma in the 1950s — and the building of a commercial airport — Santa Barbara now had the infrastructure necessary to germinate and sustain the smokeless R&D industry — the military industrial complex — that soon followed. For a relatively brief historic flicker, Santa Barbara had a bona fide middle class. And Muni was for them.
All that, of course, is poignantly ironic given the cruelty of current realities. Forty years ago, people would complain at a council meetings about how their children could no longer afford to own a home in Santa Barbara. Now the same sort of people are complaining their children can no longer afford to even rent here. Maybe we need to take a second look at Muni.
Don’t get me wrong. Some of my best friends golf there. One is full of such pithy golf aphorisms as, “Drive for the show but putt for the dough.” And after that he’ll also say, “Those who fail to plan, plan to fail.” (No, I am not making this up.)
But the fact remains that there isn’t a single other 108-acre parcel of land owned free and clear by City Hall. Yes, it would need a vote of the people to expand the allowable uses of this land to include housing. That’s an impossibility only if we want to make it one. From where I sit, the real impossibility is finding an affordable place to live.
At last count, City Hall has 400 parcels of real estate that it owns. Parking lots and things like that. It is reportedly assessing these for their housing development potential. Conspicuously not on that list, however, is the 108-acre Muni parcel.
Like I say, you go past something enough times you stop seeing it. Hey! Maybe it’s time for us to wake up and smell the revelation.
Huh?
Amen.
You must be logged in to post a comment.