New Beginnings Presents Author Talk with Annabelle Gurwitch

Comfort, community, and laughter aren’t words typically associated with cancer, but New York Times bestselling author Annabelle Gurwitch brings all three to her newest memoir, The End of My Life is Killing Me: The Unexpected Joys of a Cancer Slacker. 

Gurwitch will bring her honest and humorous perspective to New Beginnings Collaborative Center on Sept. 24 at 5:30 p.m., where she will discuss her memoir and its invitation for anyone experiencing challenges — not only those experiencing cancer — to feel seen.

After being diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer, Gurwitch learned she was a candidate for a new biomarker targeted, once–daily pill treatment that offered temporary reprieve. However she found herself grappling with a strange cognitive dissonance: She looked and felt unchanged while knowing she was living with an incurable and potentially deadly disease. 

Coming from a competitive industry, Gurwitch (who is also a successful stage and screen actress) refused to feel as though she had to win at cancer too. She expressed, “I really believe that changing the lexicon that is associated with something so big and scary as cancer — going from cancer warrior to cancer slacker — is the idea that we don’t have to feel performative about being brave.” 

Instead, Gurwitch has found value in cultivating an appreciation for smaller moments. Rather than trying to pack everything into life at once or constantly seeking perfection, she approached each day with curiosity, allowing small moments to feel big. 

It is within these smaller moments that Gurwitch finds room for humor. She said, “Having the permission to see the humor in really difficult situations can seem like something that’s taboo, and yet it is so helpful.” 

That humor can also open the door for connection. For Gurwitch, sharing stories and laughter with others is what makes difficult moments feel less isolating. “There’s just nothing like coming together and being live and in person with people, and sharing stories and laughter together. It’s just this tangible dopamine that is better than scrolling.”

That same sense of connection extends beyond laughter and storytelling. Gurwitch’s long association with New Beginnings reflects her belief in the importance of community and being there for others. A few years ago, she visited one of New Beginnings’ safe parking sites, an experience she described as “one of the most moving evenings of my life.” She admitted, “I did not know what to expect, and what I witnessed was families tucking their children into bed in the back seat of a car. I can never unsee it and I don’t want to unsee it.”

That experience reinforced for Gurwitch how little we may know about what others are facing. Living with an unseen condition has also shaped her awareness of the struggles people can face without others realizing it. 

“It reminded me that we don’t know what people are going through,” she said. “We have so many people who are marginalized and underserved in terms of not only social services, but mental health services. We need to have organizations — and New Beginnings is one of them — that step in for people and it’s profoundly moving.” 

While known for giving back to the community, she finds the importance of both giving and receiving support. “In sharing my story of how much support I needed, I think it helps give permission to others to reach out to both get support and be the supporter of someone else,” she said.

That support can begin with something as simple as asking what someone needs. In her memoir, Gurwitch introduces the three H’s strategy: do you want to be helped, hugged, or heard? 

“I’ve realized that I’m the person who always wants to step in and solve everyone’s problems,” she said. “That’s not always what people want. Sometimes, we just want someone to listen with openness toward hearing what we want, and that can be transformational.”

These moments of support, connection, and finding humor in difficult moments will be central to Gurwitch’s conversation at New Beginnings. The End of My Life is Killing Me offers a different way of looking at difficult experiences, not by ignoring them, but by making room for curiosity, laughter, and the people who help us through them.

“In my attempt to carpe every diem, I found that it gets really tiring. That strategy really crashed and burned and I had to find a new way of paying attention to life,” she said. “Ultimately the message of the book is to approach each day not like it’s the last day of my life, but like it’s the first day.”

The talk and reception with Annabelle Gurwitch takes place on Thursday, September 24, at 5:30 p.m. at the New Beginnings Collaborative Center (501. E. Montecito St. Suite 101). Sips and bites will be served. Tickets are $50 per person and include a copy of Annabelle’s new book, The End of My Life is Killing Me, The Unexpected Joys of a Cancer Slacker. See sbnbcc.org/annabelle-gurwitch for tickets and more information.