BATTLE ROYALE: If you crave big-city living and all the cultural to-dos that come with it, well, it’s your lucky weekend. Starting this Friday, hip youths across the 805 are gonna have a whole lot to celebrate on the live-event front. But how do you choose between one great show and the next? Don’t worry, sweet indecisive readers. We’re here to help. On Friday, the tragic conflict of interest comes by way of Giraffage and The Garden, two great shows, both happening at about the same time (at EOS Lounge and Velvet Jones, respectively). If you’re looking to get your groove on, this one is a no brainer: Giraffage’s Charlie Yin is known for dishing out the shiny jams, which are sure to sparkle extra bright in this itty-bitty show space. (Remember, this is the guy who recently wrapped a tour with Porter Robinson.) If you like your Friday nights a little dirtier, though, Velvet is your spot. And I mean that in every sense of the word. The Garden’s quirky brand of fast and loud goth punk ain’t exactly sip-a-martini-by-the-bar music, but it is good and infectious. (Note: Beware the bathroom situation.)
On Saturday, treat yourself to an early-evening earful courtesy of folkie songstress Eleanor Friedberger, who plugs in for a show at Velvet Jones at 6 p.m. The Illinois-bred singer/songwriter may be best known as half of the bro-sis duo The Fiery Furnaces, but don’t let that sway you. On her own, Lady Friedberger makes the kind of jangly guitar rock that shimmies and shakes, taking notes from the genre’s greats like The Replacements, Belle & Sebastian, and The New Pornographers. Also, the early start means you can get outta there with enough time to make a second stop or (god forbid) get to bed before midnight.
After you’ve had your fill of ear-blasting riffs, head to the Lobero for excitement of a totally different variety. On Sunday, my favorite comedienne/spirit animal Maria Bamford takes to the historic Canon Perdido Street stage to make her presence known. If you’ve yet to latch on to Bamford’s dark-but-loveable sense of humor, go buy a ticket to this now. Her accolades include hilarious turns on Arrested Development, Louie, The Sarah Silverman Program, and a bunch of Target commercials, but Bamford’s real triumph is her malleable face, spot-on impersonations, and inherent weirdness. For anyone who has ever not seen eye to eye with their parents, this will hit home in ways that I can’t even try to describe. Just go. Trust me.