There’s lots of wreckage in the fast lane these days, and I’m not entirely sure where to start. When the election results came in on Tuesday night, I wasn’t shocked in the least. After having seen the rise of Brexit while in England, this whole moment had the same feel to it.

But then again, this isn’t about that. Trump won. Get over it.

No, the Electoral College isn’t going to go away. No, you aren’t “showing Trump what he’s going to have to deal with.” No. You’re just being childish assholes.

No, I didn’t vote for him. But a bunch of people in the right places did, and he won. I’ve been disappointed about the outcomes of every presidential election in my lifetime, but life goes on. They’re all kleptocrats. It is wholly illogical to think a woman who was the female incarnate of George W. Bush was going to be some great choice. Which is why it’s puzzling to me that people would get worked to the point of rioting in some locales over Bush not being elected.

People are going crazy: Rampant secession calls. Random calls for assassination. The American Dream is being questioned, and the university campus has been turned into a day-care center for disillusioned adult babies.

I’m not known for being a kind person; most people generally regard me as an asshole myself. I’ve been screamed at by a variety of people over the years, but never with the frequency I have in the last week. Even saying “I’m not shocked” gets people in this town worked into a king hell jihad. No less than 20-some strangers have screamed at me since Tuesday and multiple friendships have been ended. Not by my choice.

And these protests. These god damned protests. It isn’t enough that you spent the day after the election crying and looking for your safe space from the school administration. No, you have to go take out your “rage” about Grandma Nixon losing on people who actually have some place to be. Some guy who is coming home from work after dealing with jerks all day isn’t probably going to be endeared to your cause because you’re causing his already miserably long commute to be delayed. You make lots of friends that way.

Where were the ragers all these years when Obama was building onto the apparatus Dubya left him? Where were they when he re-upped the PATRIOT Act and other un-American domestic spying devices? Where were they when he started bombing five countries in the Middle East and Africa? Where were they when Grandma Nixon’s policies almost singlehandedly turned the African country with the highest standard of living into Somalia North? (That’s Libya for you geopolitically challenged) And where were they when he murdered an American citizen with a drone without due process?

Nowhere. And that’s why it’s so hard to take them seriously. When their guy is out there doing things, it’s okay, but as soon as some orange-skinned lunatic gets the controls, it’s the end of the world as we know it.

Somewhere in Syria (you know, the country Grandma Nixon wanted to up the ante in), there are people getting bombed by Ruskies and terrorists and dealing with it, and you’re crying over some plutocrat not getting elected. Get over yourselves. There are problems out there, real problems, but this isn’t one of them.

He probably could end up being another in the line of Mad Emperors we’ve been faced with. He could end up as not so bad. Nobody really knows. But whining and making everyone else’s lives miserable because you lost isn’t going to help anything.

Honestly, if this is the worst thing that’s happened in your lifetime, consider yourself lucky.


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