Donald J. Trump had died. After being turned away at the gates of heaven, he was granted a meeting with God to appeal his case.

Trump bellowed, “From day one, I tried to make America hate again. I routinely fawned over brutal dictators and embraced neo-Nazis, but demanded zero tolerance for all refugees, asylum seekers, and immigrants of color. Legal or not, I really didn’t care. Brown or black? Send them back.”

Trumpsky’s case quickly collapsed. Nevertheless, he persisted. “Foolishly, it was ordained that we share our once great country with a motley crew of criminals from non-Aryan countries. What were you thinking? When I wasn’t playing golf, chasing porn stars or kissing Comrade Putin’s posterior, I was busy dismantling this failed social experiment. You’re weak and a total loser, so get off my throne.”

God smiled, but She was not amused. Trump’s personal lifestyle had included blatant and habitual violations of eight of the Ten Commandments and numerous human rights abuses. Without remorse, it was judged, there can be no redemption and the appeal was denied. “Duma Don” was detained, deported, and banished for eternity. Hallelujah!


Please note this login is to submit events or press releases. Use this page here to login for your Independent subscription

Not a member? Sign up here.