MARTIAL ARTS:

Carl Nunes, 32, was arrested early last Thursday following a
bizarre stabbing incident at Elsie’s Bar on De la Guerra Street.
According to witnesses, the trouble started when Nunes interjected
himself into a heated debate between two Elsie’s regulars about the
bar’s current art installation. When Nunes’s expertise was rebuked
both verbally and physically, he responded by throwing punches. The
fracas escalated quickly, and several other bar patrons attempted
to break up the art debate gone bad. At this point, according to
authorities, Nunes began stabbing the would-be peacemakers with a
small pocketknife, sending two of them to the hospital with minor
injuries and a third home with an abdomen laceration. Nunes was
eventually apprehended after two escape attempts were thwarted by
victims and witnesses alike, who sat on him until police arrived.
Authorities believe alcohol played a “definite role” in the crime;
however, according to an Elsie’s bartender, Nunes was not served a
single drink.