Barney's summer reading

Wacky Book Titles: It’s time to prowl through the weird and wacky titles of books donated for the Sept. 20-30 Planned Parenthood Book Sale.

Here are a few choice laughers picked out by Mary Brown and her volunteers:

Age Doesn’t Matter Unless You’re a Cheese

How to Dress a Naked Window

<em>Bride of the Rat God</em> book cover

Daddy Needs a Drink

Mommies Who Drink: Sex, Drugs and other Distant Memories of an Ordinary Mom

When You Eat at the Refrigerator, Pull Up a Chair

Why Dogs are Better than Republicans

Beware the Naked Man Who Offers You His Shirt

Why Do Men Have Nipples?: Hundreds of Questions You’d Only Ask a Doctor After Your Third Martini

Doga: Yoga for Dogs

Bride of the Rat God

How to Walk in High Heels

How to Get Hung

A Brief History of the Dead

Buddhists and Glaciers of Western Tibet

Possum Living

And there will no doubt be much, much more wackiness on the tables; possibly some titles not even printable.

This year the sale will be held at Earl Warren Showgrounds, 10 a.m. to 8 p.m. daily. Admission is free, except for the Thursday, September 20 opening, held from 5 to 9 p.m., when there will be a $20 fee.

Why Gonzales Quit: The joke going around at the Independent: Why did embattled U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales resign? Answer: He wanted to spend more time eavesdropping on his family.

Fun at the Dentist’s: As far as I know, Dr. Kathy McClintock is the only dentist in town whose treatments include not only a headset movie while you’re in the chair, but a free foot massage from Alexia Leslie.

Delicate Balance: Theater buffs who saw the Santa Barbara Ensemble Theater Company’s past production of Edward Albee’s play, A Delicate Balance will get a second chance to see the Tony and Pulitzer Prize winner when Ventura’s Rubicon Theater stages it from Saturday, September 22 thru Sunday, October 14. Previews run September 20 and 21. Bonnie Franklin takes of the role of Claire and James O’Neil – Rubicon’s artistic director and co-founder – will direct.

Sicko and More: Thanks to UCSB’s Arts & Lectures folks, the community gets a chance to see films they missed when they hit Metropolitan Theaters here, or foreign films that never arrived in Santa Barbara. Michael Moore’s Sicko, about the ailing U.S. health care system, shows at Campbell Hall on Monday, October 1 at 7:30 and 10 p.m. Once – people loved it or hated it, and I blew a chance to see it – screens at 7:30 and 9:30 p.m. on Wednesday, October 3. Admission is six bucks for non-students.

Barney Brantingham can be reached at or at 805-965-5205. He writes online columns on Tuesdays and Fridays and a print column on Thursdays.


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