It will be two years this August since my wolf dog Maia passed away. I have been missing her a lot lately. Living with a wolf dog had its challenges. She was not comfortable around crowds or where other dogs ran free. She was aggressive in situations that were not completely natural. Though she felt extremely comfortable in nature.
I have found that in the past two years since she’s been gone I have become disconnected from the natural world. Even though I still walk on raw land, I have found that I am in my head thinking about projects, my to-do list for the day, or even some extraordinary fantasy. The present moment has eluded me.
Maia noticed every bird that flew overhead. She noticed a coyote in a field a half a mile away, a mountain lion in a tree, a bear path, a rabbit in the bush, a butterfly fluttering just off the path, even hikers ten minutes before they appeared. How many mountain lions, coyotes, deer, and rare birds of prey have I missed in these last two years since she’s been gone? I welcomed this at first; the luxury of not having to be hypersensitive to my surroundings.
My dogs now rarely travel very far away from me and when they do journey off it is less than two minutes before they return. Maia would run over a half-mile away and still know exactly where I was. I was constantly looking into the distance, scanning the horizon for Maia and where she would be running off to next. She took Stormy with her sometimes. Chasing after deer, frolicking in a far-off pond, hunting ground squirrels. I even knew which way the wind was blowing by the way Maia sniffed the air, or where the humming birds nested by following Maia’s keen hearing. We were attached to every moment in nature.
I long for Maia. I call to her now to come and speak to me. To tell me what she is doing in the world above ours. Maia comes and says, “There are times when I rest in the silence between each breath and I allow myself to float. I am still inside of you. We will always be linked together. Every time you notice the body language of another animal I am there to help you understand. I am in the wind when you need reassurance that you are on the right path.
“I am following a trail here. I trail to the middle worlds where animals and humans do not need to work to understand each other. I am bringing the knowledge back to you.
“I am in Luca, as you know, and that part of me is learning to be domesticated. Learning to only hear, see, and sense with a fraction of one’s capabilities.
“My wild essence is exploring the wild lands of the globe. There are so many places where humans do not understand the animals.
“I am in your heart. That is where I reside. It is where I come home to rest. I am with you. I am your intuition and your inspiration.
I would like to tell people that if they breathe into the silence they too will feel their animals that have passed away and they too will learn from their animals’ knowledge. One must believe in order to be completely in balance. There is so much to the world that people do not understand. Open your hearts and it all will be revealed.”